You Found Me

Ten

10

     Almost a week had passed since we broke up, though, I don't know if I should call it that.

     I clearly remembered that I didn't actually say the words. It's more of I just left it hanging in the air. But I guess, me walking away, pretty much says it all.

     I haven't talked to him ever since that.

     I'm angry at him, at what he did, specifically. I trusted him, and I felt betrayed over again.

     I know like any other relationships, fighting is the inevitable, bitter part. But I've never been into a fight like this before. I don't even want to count my past with Ivan, because I felt like we just labeled our relationship even without the feelings.

     My relationship with him was different. It was never normal to begin with.

     We didn't care how weird we are, or how dire the situation we're in. That's what I like about us.

      It's almost like we're lost in our own world every time we're together. It seemed too good to be true how smooth everything is.. But I know deep inside, we didn't pretend a single thing. All of it was true.

      It's just funny to think that our relationship started out because of an assumption, but then it ended up being true. And now, we're assuming again that it ended, and I don't want it to be true. I've always been sure with my life. But then he came.

      Today's Saturday and I went to the park with Lily.

      They always grab the chance to get her out of the house at least twice a week.  It's not good for her to always stay at home. It will also be a good way to improve her other senses, to make her connect with the world somehow.

     I am sitting at one of the seesaw, which I know is way passed my age, as I wait for Lily and Yaya Nel to come back from the comfort room. No one's occupying it since the kids are busy with other recreations here. 

      I thought it would be a good idea to get out of the house just to have a breath of fresh air. But I'm almost regretting it now.

     All my thoughts leads back to him. I always think of Hapon every time the corner of my eyes catch a guy with the same built as him or whenever I see someone wearing a beanie. It sounds invalid, because if truth be told, he's really the only one I've been thinking about. 

      That only proves how much I miss him. I miss his eyes, his dimples, his warm hugs and kisses. I miss Hapon, all of him. Are we going to figure this out like he always says?

      "Elle." 

       I slowly look up and see Cleo.

      I avert my eyes and let out a deep breath. I don't know but it seems like I don't care that she's here and that I need to deal with my problems with her at some point.

      Maybe, I'm just too tired to run away.

     "I saw Lily. She said you're here with her."

     I shrug, tight-lipped, in response. She sits on the seesaw next to mine.  I hate how familiar this gets.

     "I'm here with Millie,” she supplies, as if there's a need to explain what she's doing here.