You Found Me

Thirteen

13

A couple of weeks after our trip in Japan, Hapon started the chemo.

       I can't help but compare how fast the transition happens.

       Our days in Japan were more like a fun-filled adventure and fantasy, and now were being dragged back by the hands of reality.

     Chemo's good, it will help him. I found telling this to myself one day.

      Sometimes, it would unconsciously pop into my mind, whenever I'm stuck on traffic or every time I knock on their door. It has become the thing that fill the little spaces between my life. I always feel the need to remind myself again and again.

      He's okay. He will be okay.

      For the past few weeks I had fallen into a routine for which I am not even aware of.

      After school, I would find myself heading into their house. It's either I'll come home first to change and bring few things or head directly there. That's also where I usually take my school works and review for my exams.

      Sometimes, he's the one to visit us at home, but it became gradual when he had undergone chemo.

      I always have the need to see him or to be close to him.

      Dad and Lucy didn't have any problems about it. They never ask any questions whenever I come home late.

     They ask how he is but they never ask for more. It's like they already know, and they understand it. Even our driver doesn't need to be told for direction, he just automatically drives me to their's as if the possible places I used to go had been narrowed down into one.

      But I had a hard time, explaining everything to Lily. She immediately got close to Hapon at that short span of time that she knows him. She's a smart kid and I'm trying to protect her fragile heart from the truth bearing pain about Hapon's condition.

      I slowly got used to the things that I am not used to before.  I always have this feeling that I can easily adapt and get attached to changes and new things. I mean it's part of our nature. But most of the time that didn't do me good in the end.

     I let myself in when I arrived at their house. Our class has been dismissed early and I immediately head to their house.

     I immediately spot Tita Adela at the kitchen. For sure she's preparing some snacks. 

     It's not new for her to see me at this time of the day. My coming here every day became normal to us.  She acknowledges my presence by nodding at me. We learn to communicate with those little gestures. We learn to talk without words.  Maybe that's what happens when you both care for someone. You automatically create this strong connection that bonds you to understand the same language that only the both of you could talk.

     A genuine smile is plastered on her face. It's pretty rare these days to see her wearing one.  "He's in his room."

      I somehow feel elated when I heard those words.

      Maybe it just sounds like simple information but it's a big deal to me.

       It's not new to me anymore. Just like what we had before for Mom, they also have a separated room in their house that caters Hapon's medical needs.

       I even call it as the 'white room'. I'm never fond of it even way back during Mom's time.

       Maybe that's when I started thinking that not being in the white room is a good sign that everything will turn out great.