Just The Daughter

Its Not That Bad

Mom came up and grabbed the bottle out of my hand. I let her take it because I didn't want anymore of it. Dad was the first to speak, "Why are you doing that?" I was always more disappointed in myself when I made dad upset, not as much the same for mom. I shrugged and answered him. "I don't know what you mean."

"Nova Darling, You're throwing your life away. You're ruining yourself." I can't say that he is wrong. I really didn't care about myself lately. "So what? I'm still healthy. I'm still our third top flier." Mom sighed, but kept her mouth shut. He continued, "That means nothing if you ruin your personality, your livers and kidneys. "

I forgot we weren't the only ones in the room, so I looked around to see a lot of people who suddenly became interested in the wall tapestry. All but one, Seth. Why in hell— My thinking was cut off by dad releasing his midnight darkness around us. Keeping us cocooned and keeping me from looking around.

He left mom out of our cocoon which was fine with me. "Focus on what I'm telling you. Not the other stuff." He was hesitating to keep speaking and so was I. "I told Your mom to keep the conversation going and we are no longer in that room. Now tell me every thing. We don't have to tell Fey-Mom anything."

I began to tell him. "I'm struggling with who and how I am. You found your mate, Uncle Cass found his mate, Az didn't find his but he is happy as can be. And I'm scared. I have my best friends and all. I have people who use me for likes because I'm the High Lord's Daughter." I took a breathing break, it was shudder-y. Dad put his hand on my back and waited, letting me take my time.

"I didn't tell Mack and Dan that I was High Daughter until we were friends for about five or six months. Even the around the time when I was an assassin in Cassians and Azriels Illyrian legion. I kept my hood on and my identity a secret and it killed me. Maybe it's because I'm scared of myself and how I am— that maybe I may never find my mate because there is no one for me."

Dad gave me a cup of water because I needed to sober up and he began speaking. "You remember me telling about my time with the blight?" I nodded. "I always thought to myself the same things. I had dreams about a woman, your mother. And I held on to those. It kept me going. Even if you don't find your mate soon. There is one out there for you. You'll live for an eternity. Your mate could be right in front of you or across Prythian, in another court. Just focus on your good things and don't worry about what other people think. Be you Nova. Be the girl that your mom and I raised you to be. We raised you to this age. It's your turn to take over."

Everything he told me was true. I didn't realize I was crying. "I'm sorry dad, I didn't mean to let myself go." He pulled me into a hug and said, "it's ok, I know you can do better. It's all on you from this point. I won't make you change." I pushed out of his hug and said, "I need to apologize to mom." He got up and replied, "Ok, I'll got get her." He wasn't gone maybe five minutes and mom had came into the room.

I jumped up and ran to her, giving her a huge hug. I started sobbing again. "I-I'm so sorry Momma. I know I'm being a horrible daughter and you are probably really mad at me. I don't know what's happening to me. Please— please forgive me." Mom wrapped her arms around me. "I'm not mad. I just know your potential and I know you can do way better. I still love you and I want to see you do better."

I nodded against her shoulder. "When you're ready we can do back to the room and continue what we were doing. It was just an average conversation." She stretched back and grabbed my shoulders. I took a deep breath and said, "Alright, let's go." She led me back into the room and I sat down with everyone and we continued talking. Everything about me looked fine. But something inside me felt off.