If It Comes Back

Chapter 53

*Trigger Warning: Mental health, sexual harassment/assault

...

Gigi stepped forward as she looked up at the tall iron gates. It had been ten years since she saw them and they were still as haunting and domineering as she remembered. With the passage of time, she thought, the details would have blurred and faded as the mind became faulty over the years. Yet the memories, nightmares, that had plagued her managed to include every single detail. The chipped paint, rust from years of exposure to Mother Nature, how the creaking of the old gates seemed to sound like distant screams when blown by the wind, it had all been permanently ingrained in her mind making sure she would never forget, making sure she would always remember and feel the guilt and shame of her past.

"You ready?" Aubrey approached Gigi from behind and held her hand looking down at her while she stood rooted and still transfixed by the gates. "Gi?" The more she stared at the metalwork, the further away everything seemed to be. It was like she was sinking in a deep, dark ocean. All sound distorted then muffled until it became silent. The light around her became less and her surroundings darkened until there was the smallest sliver of glimmer at the surface that eventually disappeared as she continued to sink into the abyss. The feeling of drowning was so strong, she started to feel the burning in her lungs and the faint feeling you get in your head that made you want to close your eyes and never wake up again. "Gi!" Aubrey shook her shoulders trying to bring her back from whatever world her mind had carried her off to. She gasped, her chest heaving trying to bring air into her lungs, not even realizing she had been holding her breath the entire time and wiped at her eyes from the few tears that inadvertently fell. Aubrey studied her full of concern as his brow furrowed and he internally questioned if having her face her past was actually a good idea. "Gi, we can go back--." She quickly shook her head while continuing to take large breaths of air. She had come this far and refused to turn back now. Aubrey gave her another unsure once over but saw the determination in her eyes and grabbed a hold of her hand to lead her through the gates. "Let's go," he called to his security guards to follow suit.

"No." Despite Aubrey's attempt to lead her, Gigi didn't budge from her spot. She pulled her eyes from the gates and finally focused on him. "They can't go."

Considering their location, he thought it highly unlikely they would run into fans or large groups of people or paparazzi but it was always better to be safe than sorry. "Gi, that's not really poss--"

"They can't go." She pulled back on his hand and pleaded shaking her head. "This has to be you and me. No one else. They can't--!"

"Shh, shh," startled by the desperation in her voice, Aubrey wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back trying to calm her. "It'll be like our hike." He tried to catch her sight as her eyes looked around frantically. "Do you remember that? Look at me Gi, focus." He moved his face closer making it practically impossible for her to see anything but his eyes. "Remember when we went on the hike, they kept a distance. It'll be the same." Gigi's gaze followed to where Aubrey pointed and saw Luke and Tony were well beyond the entrance gates that she and Aubrey still stood outside of. Her breathing steadied and her attention went back to the man in front of her. He would ensure his bodyguards would keep a considerable distance, he would take his time with her, he was still here, and he was still fighting to help... she could trust him.

"Okay... let's... let's go." She grabbed his hand and trudged forward her eyes returning to the gates and the words above her that she read over and over again. With each step, it seemed like her chest constricted and that her heart was going to pound out of her chest. Despite the cool Toronto morning, Gigi broke out into a sweat the closer they got to the entrance. Her steps became slower until she was no longer walking at all.