Space Queen [1]

1.11

(edited)

We had set up camp just out of the mountain men's range while we wait for Raven to tell us its safe to advance.

Lexa and i had gathered in her tent along with Clarke. I had tried to convince Lexa to not invite Clarke but apparently i let my emotions cloud my decisions and Clarke doesn't, that's why she was invited.

"what if we're wrong and cutting the power doesn't disengage the locks?" Clarke worries while pacing the room. This is why i didn't want her to come, she just worries and second guesses stuff.

"Clarke, I've seen the blueprints, if the power goes out, so does the locks" i try to comfort her while Lexa lets out a sigh and gets up from the bed she was sitting on.

"you two should get some rest" Lexa tells us but Clarke pays her no mind.

"we could blow the doors manually" Clarke tries to think up a plan again, only causing me to get annoyed.

"plans don't last very long in battle. Tiring yourself with questions already asked and answered is a waste of energy" Lexa tries this time to convince her but Clarke seems to be in a really stubborn mood today.

"people died for this Lexa, it has to work"

I let out a sigh as i stand up from the table i was leaning on before walking closer to Clarke and Lexa "it will"

"you're doing what i did when i first took Command" Lexa starts off before turning her back on us and walking forward "we can't move forward and it's giving you too much time to think. Once Bellamy shuts down the acid fog and the battle begins everything will be clear" Lexa finishes as she pours herself a cup of water.

"what is he can't, what if it was too dangerous and i sent him in there anyway" Clarke continues to be pessimistic.

"have some faith, Bellamy is strong" i state, not bothering to look at her.

"you care about him" Lexa pipes up from behind us, us not knowing if she's addressing Clarke or me.

"i care about all of them" i respond before Clarke gets the chance too, not wanting her to stuff anything else up.

"you worry about him more" Lexa fires back while looking between the two of us.

"he's a big part of the reason we all are still alive, i wouldn't of been able to do it without him" I defend, confused as to why i'm getting so defensive over him.

"we need him" Clarke adds "and now i might be the one who gets him killed"

I refuse to believe that there is a chance Bellamy might not survive, he's strong and won't die easily. But if he does die, what would i do? i can't live without him, i can't even imagine life without him.

"that's what it means to be a leader, Clarke" i'm brought out of my thoughts as i hear Clarke being referred to as leader.

"not leader" i state, masking it over with a cough as Lexa glares at me from the corner of her eye.

"the truth is we must look into the eyes of our warriors and say 'go die for me'" Lexa argues as i think back to all of my people I've lost in battle.

"if only it was that easy" i mutter under my breath as Clarke grows tired of this chit chat "can we please just get back to the plan"

"no" Lexa refuses as she looks me dead in the eye as she says her next words "you could be a leader your people look to, pour their hopes and dreams into, someone they would fight and die for"

"i never asked for that, i had to become leader so that everything wouldn't go to shit, so everybody wouldn't die and as much as i hate making these decisions, decisions that could ruin peoples lives. If i could go back, i would do everything the exact same because my people need me and i'm not going to abandon them" i proudly state, honesty and emotion lacing my words.