Love Found In the Contract

CHAPTER THIRTEEN 🦋

Day 2 of separation 

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Taking deep breaths, I slowly open the door to what hopefully will become my safe space. A place where I will hopefully become more open about my emotions and become brave and learn that it is okay to feel the way I feel. 

After signing in, I take a seat in one of the dark red chairs and wait for my name to be called. Yesterday after leaving the club I wrote a mental note to find a therapist, well two. One for myself and the other for Mark and me.  I wanted two separate ones because I don't feel like combining my problems, internal problems, with the ones that Mark and I have.  I don't know if Mark will agree to go to a therapist but that will be a discussion for when I feel ready to see, let alone talk to him. 

After twenty minutes or so, my name is called by a beautiful lady dressed in earthy colors, She smiled when she looked at me which made me smile back at her. She leads me down the hall. Along the walls of the hall, there are paintings of mountains, waterfalls and green forests. 

When she opened the door to her office I was greeted with different shades of blue and a painting of a flower made with a mixture of brown and blue. It was a beautiful painting that brings me peace. 

"Hello Mr. Park, how are you today?"

"Hi, you can call me Jinyoung,  no need to address me like that, and I am fine and you?"

"Well Jinyoung, I'm fine to thank you. You can call me Amy.  Well in the survey, you had mentioned that you are concerned with not being able to feel fullness and happiness. Would you like to talk about that more?"

"Well, I think it all---"

The one-hour session with Amy was very comforting. I loved how she just listen to me, she actually listens to me. She was very supportive. 

Walking out of the building, I smile a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders. 

With a big smile on my face, I drive off to the beach, a place I have never been to before, because I was afraid of looking like a fool and embarrass my family. 

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placing the weights down, I clean off the sweat off my forehead. This morning I woke up and went on a run to the park near my house. I never realized how many couples hanged up there. Today as I run there, I saw them feeding each other, hugging, laughing. It was today that I realized that I wanted something like that. I wanted to be happy. To come home and see my partner there on the couch watching over his papers. I will come and tell him to place the papers down and come have fun in the bathtub or bedroom. And when I say fun I mean, a relaxing bath or giving each other a message. I want to cook with him and maybe adopt a child or pet. 

shaking my head, I turn on the treadmill. I cannot keep thinking about this. I messed up and I don't think that he will ever forgive me. 

I will just have to wait for him to call me, or I can look for him. 

Pausing the treadmill, I walk down the hall to the lockers. After a quick shower, I march down the exit. I will go find Jinyoung and beg him to start over. I want to actually try and be something with him. 

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Thank you for reading

I'm sorry it is soo short. But please comment if you would like because I love reading them. 

thank you,  have a nice day/ night/ afternoon.