Love Found In the Contract

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE🦋

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Exiting the building, Mark opens the car door for me, thanking him I get in. Today is such an exciting day, we were going to the Sandiego Zoo. Mark found out that I have never been to a zoo yesterday during lunch. He was shocked, to say the least, and promised me that he will take me to one. I thought that he meant weeks from now but he surprised me when he woke me up and told me to hurry and dress because we could not make the lion wait for us. I was so confused but listen to him either way. After we had showered and dressed, he told me that he was taking me to the zoo. I was so excited that I just on him kissing his cheek. 

And now here we are on a long drive to the zoo. The drive was long but the scenery to get there was beautiful. We were surrounded by so many trees. After the long car drive and a long line, we were finally inside. Mark to my hand in his and guided me towards the first animal of the day, the seagulls.  They were so beautiful and looked very happy swimming around. After the seagulls, we saw the giraffes. I don't know how Mark did it but I was allowed to feed them. After them,  came the elephants, Mark took a picture of me standing next to one. After that, we pet some goats and took many pictures of the monkeys and the tiger. The tiger was sleeping and was too far away to take a good picture but it was fine.  It was so hot but so worth it at the same time. I got to meet many animals and took so many pictures but one of my favorites is one of Mark's. In this picture Mark is looking at the elephants with such a cute smile on his face, his eyes were bright as the eyes of a child at the sight of a new toy. 

Although I was having a good time I could not help but notice how when someone looked our way he was quick to take his arm off my shoulder or let go of my hand, and put distance between us. I don't know if he was embarrassed by me, to have people see us together or if it was something completely different. I tried to ignore how his actions upset me, but I wasn't so successful. By mid-day, I wanted to leave but he was having such a good time so I said nothing and continued taking photos of the cute dangerous animals.

  Although I was taking pictures and having a good time meeting so many animals I could not help but feel sad for them. They are trapped in cages, regardless of whether or not they are treated with care, deprived of their freedom just so we could be entertained.  Some say the zoos are the place where animals are safe since their habitats are destroyed or gone. But we, humans, are to blame for that. We are responsible for the extinction of so many animals and for the many more to come.

It was dark when we left the zoo. I offered to drive back since he had driven us here but Mark refused.  Closing my eyes, I fell at sleep. 

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Glancing to my right I notice that Jinyoung has fallen at sleep. He was so beautiful. Today he looked like a child in a candy store. I guess I did something right. Taking him to the zoo was a good idea. He was so happy when he was allowed to feed them. I don't know how my secretary got him the opportunity to get that close to them but I was happy. In my entire life, I have never been happy just because I made someone happy. It was a good feeling. When we got back to the apartment, I carried him bridal style inside. Carefully I placed him on the bed. Taking off his shoes I tucked him inside the duvet. 

Jinyoung looks so beautiful regardless of what he is doing. Whoever claims his heart would be so lucky. Jinyoung was as close as anyone will get to being perfect. Since his accident, I have been selfishly wanting to keep him by my side. I have been so selfish not wanting to have anyone else have him. But I can't do that to him, he deserves to be happy and I can't give him that. Today was a clear example of it. I couldn't help but move away from him when someone looked our way. I pushed him away every time someone looked our way not because I was ashamed to be with him but because I have gotten used to my father making me hid my relationships. I know that people already know that I was a married man, married to another man, but I can't shut my fathers' voice off. Every time I'm in public with Jinyoung I can't help but hear my father's voice telling me that he will hurt them if I make my relationship public. I can't help but remember how bruised the face of my first boyfriend was when a picture of us hugging was published online. My father had hurt him so bad. It haunts me how I didn't protect him. It kills me how I drove him to suicide. He killed himself and I was the reason behind it. It was me. I'm responsible for it.  I did it, I killed him. 

Walking out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. Closing the door I hit the ground hard and sobbed. Sobbed until my whole body was shaking. 

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thank you for reading 

have a nice day/night