Love Found In the Contract

CHAPTER TWENTY 🦋

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Looking at the sunrise I smile. The first week of being here was rough but nothing too bad. Mark and I got into an argument at Ikea because I wanted something simple minimalistic even and he wanted luxurious and uncomfortable furniture. In the first hour or so I tried, really tried to get him to voice his opinions about everything that will go into the apartment but he just pulled his cell phone out and began texting. He and his phone got me so angry. It was like he didn't care and that he was just pretending on the way there. 

When we got into the car that morning to go to Ikea, he sounded so excited to have some furniture and made it very clear that he didn't want too much furniture, he wanted something like minimalistic. It was his idea to have darker furniture and light-colored walls. I tried finding what he said in the car but when I tried to get his opinion on the things that came close to what he wanted but he just ignored me.  After his constant ignoring I gave up, I bought what I thought fit his vision and incorporated the colors that I liked. But I guess when I decided to ignore him upset him. But what angered him, was when one of the male employees asked if I needed help when I was trying to grab a pillow that was too high for me.

 The employee was just being nice, he handed me the pillow and smiled at me and kind of said that I looked hot in my peach color dress shirt. I, of course, said thanks for his help and kind of flashed him my wedding ring. The employee blushed and apologized for flirting with a married man and that my significant other was so lucky to have me. That small encounter could have only lasted a minute or two, but when I turned to Mark, well he was gone. He left me at the store alone. He knew that I didn't know how to get back to the apartment from there.  He knew that! he knew but he still left me. I was so angry at him and was glad that I had my wallet with me. I purchased what I picked and asked to be delivered to my house.  Good thing I had the address saved on my phone. 

It took me five hours to get back home since no taxi took credit cards. I had to look for a bank to get money out. But it was too late, I had used my phone too much and it died on me. I was walking aimlessly trying to find something that looked familiar. When I was about to lose all hope I bumped into JB. We went for coffee and just talked about what has been going on since we last spoke. He agreed to drive me home after I told him that I was lost and my phone died. 

On the drive back to the apartment, he told me that my father is still looking for me and that he had hired people to keep tabs on Donovan as well. JB gave me a business card of a man that was supposed to protect me if I wanted to. This man, B something, was very good at keeping people safe and helping them disappear from the radar for a while. Thanked him and invited him in and talked some more until Mark came home. 

After JB left Marked apologized. We have been doing things together since that night. If I was cooking he was supposed to do the dishes and clean up the apartment and vice versa. It was a good system, we were both doing our part to keep a stable and clean home. 

Last night had been fun and I got to know him a little better but I just can't help but feel as if getting to know him would be a mistake. I know that I want to be his friend but I just don't want to fall for him. He has good looks and seems to be a very kind person but he is just not what I want, what I need. I need and want someone who will listen and talked about what his concerns are. I want someone by my side not only behind closed doors but also out in public. Mark will never be that guy, I know that and that's what scares me. I don't want to fall for him and have to live a life in which the man I love treats me differently around others. I don't want him to treat me as a friend outside and as a lover inside.

Placing my cup down I let the tears fall. I don't want to fall for him. He is not the right one for me I know that. My therapist keeps asking why I say that since I don't know him. I know that I bearly know anything about him but it just feels like that. I feel that if I were to fall for him he could make me happy but not completely. Our lives will never be complete if I fall for him. I know that he wants us to have something more than a friendship, he looked hurt when I say that we should only be friends. But I cannot give him hope that we will something more than friends I can't do that to him. Also, it doesn't make sense that he has some form of romantic feelings towards me. He disliked me and out of the blue he wants to be more than friends, that can't be real.  Stuff like that only happens in movies and books, not in real life. 

standing up I walk back inside. Passing the kitchen I walk inside the bedroom. Mark is still sleeping hugging my pillow. He looks so breathtaking and at peace. He will make someone happy someday. Someone that will not mind being treated like a friend in public and a lover only behind closed doors. Mark will find someone that will fully understand him, one day he will and I will watch happily. I will be happy for him. 

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Thank you so much for reading