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Bucky. James. Winter shoulder. He had many names but insisted I called him Bucky. I walked close to him, making sure my feet moved at the same pace as him as we walked through the SHIELD facility. Bucky informed me that I needed to clear up some issues with SHIELD before I can be left alone and discover my past with Bucky.
"What do I have to tell them?" I ask keeping my gaze forward, I couldn't show that I was nervous, Barnes however knew I was.
"Just answer the questions, they won't be too difficult." Barnes looked over his shoulder to you and gently tapped his hand against yours to gain your attention. "Don't worry, I'll be in there with you, if you feel uncomfortable we can leave." He spoke gently, I slowly nodded my head in an answer.
So that lead us to where we were now, we say in a room, fury on one side of the cold metal table and me and Bucky on the other. I felt myself grow nervous at fury's gaze in my as he read over my file. An extensive record of murders that linked to me.
"So." Fury finally spoke making me almost jolt in fear, I didn't know if I'd even have to answers to his questions. What if I didn't? What if Barnes only wanted answers and if I couldn't give them he'd leave me alone?
I had grown used to living alone, but when I'm around Bucky I felt protected, I feel as if I could trust him, something I haven't felt like I could do in years.
"What do you know about HYDRA?" Fury asked making Bucky clear his throat, that question had a variety of answers and what if I told him everything they already knew? Bucky glared at fury, obviously wanted an easier question.
"Fine." Fury huffed our as he flipped the page on the thick file of my record. "Who are you?" I felt my breathe hitch at the question. Bucky gently placed his metal hand over mine, helping me calm my nerves.
"Y/N L/N." I answer sounding a little unsure.
"How many facilities are left in HYDRA?" Again, Bucky cleared his throat causing fury to sigh. "Barnes do you need to leave the room?" My hand instinctively cling onto Bucky's metal one, I couldn't allow him to leave me alone in here.
"I'm staying. Ask easier questions." Bucky glanced down at me as I kept my eyes on the metal table. "She doesn't remember much." Bucky mumbled the last part.
"Fine, how long were you with HYDRA?" Fury asked.
"I don't really know, some years they left me on ice, I honestly couldn't remember how long they kept me under." I pause, furrowing my eyebrows trying to think hard. "It's fuzzy, I don't even remember half my time spent there." That was true I didn't remember much but they had wired my brain to know what to do and how to act whilst I was there.
"How many missions did you do?" Fury asked.
"A couple of hundred." I answer feeling guilt fill my chest, all those deaths in my hands.
"What do you know about HYDRA?" Bucky cleared his throat but I gently shook my head and looked at him, telling him that it was okay.
"I don't know much, they didn't tell me a lot, mostly spoke in codes or—" I pause feeling my heart sink.
"What?" Fury pressed.
"I don't know, when I wasn't under the ice they treated me like an animal, made sure I didn't overhear anything they didn't want me to hear, I know a few locations, some sleeper agents but.." I trailed off thinking my information was useless.
Bucky felt his chest tighten at your statement, he knew what HYDRA had put you through but the way you explained it, the quiver in your lip when you said they treated you like an animal, the sadness in your eyes. Fury opened his mouth to ask another question but Bucky could tell you wanted to leave.
"That enough for today, we'll come back tomorrow to discuss more." Bucky spoke looking at fury, making sure it wasn't mistaken as a request. I thankfully stood from my chair and wordlessly walked out with Bucky, the ride home was quite too, I knew Bucky was having a mental battle with himself, whatever it was I didn't want to intrude and ask him what he was thinking about.
When we finally arrived back at Bucky's apartment we entered without speaking, I turn to where the spare room was and start making me way there
"Y/N." I stop in my tracks at the sound of his voice, I turn and see Bucky standing by the door, looking at me with sadness in his eyes.
"Yes?" I ask timidly.
"Can we talk?" He said. I felt my heart leap in surprise, was he kicking me out? Did he hate what I told Fury? Instead I nodded as we both met on the couch and I patiently waited for him to talk.
"At HYDRA.. after I left..." he paused an took in a breathe. "Did they hurt you a lot?" I let out a breathe I didn't know I was holding and looked down to my hands. I didn't want to tell him what I went through, but I owed him the truth.
"Yeah.." I say quietly.
"Can.. can I see?" He asked, I look at him in surprise, then I glance to his arm. Since I started staying here he often answered and showed me his arm, it made me feel happy knowing he trusted me. I saw him when he was most vulnerable, so I have to return to favour.
"Yeah." I repeat as I slowly take off my shirt and turn for him to see my back. Before Bucky left I only have a few whip marks but now. My back was covered in scared tissue. I heard Bucky let out a shaky breathe at the sight, then suddenly I felt his cold metal hand gently touch the skin.
"I'm so sorry." He mumbled, I sat there for a while allowing him the see the scars, and gently trace his fingers over the damaged skin. After a while I felt him Bucky sniff, I turn and see him sitting there teary eyed, I turn myself back around and gently take his hand in mine, something we did know to comfort each other.
"I don't blame you." I say softly. "You had no other choice— I would of left too if I had the chance." Bucky shook his head gently.
"But you didn't get that chance,I left you, I was selfish and wanted out." I furrow my eyebrows at him as he continued. "If only we switched positions. If only you left first." He finished as he kept his gaze on the table, refusing to meet my eyes.
"Then you'd be the one with these scars."
"Better me than you."
"Well I don't think you deserve to go through what happened to me, I think I'm happy with the way things turned out."
"You're happy?" He asked still not looking at me, I shrug.
"I'm here aren't I? We're both alive and away from HYDRA. So yes, I'm happy." I finish, Bucky still didn't look convinced, slowly I lift my hands away from him a cup his cheeks to make him look at me.
"Why don't you hate me for leaving you?" He asked as he met my eyes.
"Because you chased after me for years to find me again." I say with a small smile. "And I ended up here.. with you in the end." I say.
Bucky smiles softly back at me, I noticed his gaze flicker from my eyes to my lips and felt myself leaning in. Just as our lips were half and inch apart Bucky soft whispered.
"Are you sure you're happy with me?"
"I'm the happiest that I've ever been." I confirm and pull him in for a kiss.
Sorry if they're are spelling errors I'm just tryna catch up with all the requests!
