The Night Talks • Vents

temptation

im hurting past fucking belief
i dont know why
maybe its because I know why
you just want to hurt me

i want to scream
i want to cry
i want to kick and punch
i want to die

its tempting
to fall back into old habits
and watch stress fall down as puddles
and wake up with a dull ache

i repeat to myself that
i am better now
but do i even want to be
or am i doing this for someone else

the person who says they love me
is the same one who refused to listen
and i try to turn him away
but my mind says i need this

and then another one
refuses that he puts his hands on me
and says i meant nothing
says i am nothing

everyone i loved
and all who said they loved me
now says i dont mean shit
did i ever in the first place

teen romance is pointless
so is a fucking spoon
but i can still hurt you with it
just like breakups hurts now

temptation is thrilling
is addicted to put yourself in agony
turn down those cigarettes and feel
addiction claw at your throat

temptation to cut is nearly the same
turn away and feel your arms itch
and feel those muscles burn
and your eyes go blurry

if i cut
i break a promise
i guilt others
i become a problem again

But damn
its so tempting