Transgender Jay : A Ninjago Story

44 - Tears

(Warning. This chapter contains discussion of self harm, but it doesn't go into detail. I've made sure that little to no plot is laid out, so if you wish to skip this chapter altogether, it won't impact the story.)

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Cole could tell that something was wrong as soon as he saw Jay walk onto the deck.
He rushed outside, standing at the top of the stairs, trying to figure out what was wrong.

He couldn't.

But he could tell that Jay was shaking. Shaking and staring at the ground, alert and afraid.

It was painstakingly clear that his trip out hadn't been as smooth as he'd said it would be.

"Jay? Jay, what happened?" He asked, covering the last few metres down the stairs and over to him.

"... what's wrong?"

Jay simply shook his head, trying to push past him to get inside, but Cole blocked his way.

"Please, don't just run away... I want to help you..."

Jay ignored him, only shaking his head more vigorously, and sidestepped, rushing indoors with tears steaming down his face.

Cole could only follow him, all the way to the bathroom, where Jay slammed the door and pushed something in front of it. He could tell, as when he tried wobbling the doorknob and pushing, it wouldn't budge.

He could probably have forced it open if he wanted to, but, instead, Cole just sat outside, listening to Jay's faint whimpers as he calmed himself down. From Cole's auditory observations, he wasn't doing very well.

It... hurt. It hurt a lot to be able to do nothing but sit outside and wait for when he left, to then and only then be able to help.

He felt pretty damn useless.

A long time passed. Minutes, it possibly stretched into an hour. Cole was flipping through news articles on his phone, most of them about Jay. They made him sick.

Half of them he couldn't even bring himself to read, as the language and tone were far too derogatory to cope with.

Seeing words that objectified and disrespected his friend so deeply... Cole couldn't stand it.

Then, at last, the bathroom door swung open, and a much calmer - but still shaking - Jay stepped out into the corridor. When he caught sight of him, confusion flashed across his face, and Cole quickly brought himself to his feet.

"I... I was waiting for you to get out. I was... worried."

"... s... sorry..." Jay managed to choke out.

"What? Why are you apologising? It's not your fault?"

"It is... it is..."

The brief calm he had achieved within the bathroom's safe walls crumbled in seconds, and Jay started to cry again, letting himself fall into Cole's embrace.

"... god... Jay... what happened...?"

He was too upset to answer, clinging tighter to him instead.

"... come on, let's head to the game room. Nobody else is there right now."

Jay nodded, and wiped his eyes on his sleeve following his friend like a duckling to the empty room, where upon entry, Cole threw a discarded blanket around his shoulders. Once he was tightly wrapped up and sat comfortably on one of the big cushions, Cole could finally get a few words out of him.

It started when he saw a number of slightly arced indents on Jay's wrist, a couple having drawn blood and turned into scabs.

Jay noticed him staring, and took a deep breath, speaking at last.