It's Always Been You

Chapter 19

*Chanel's POV*

It's been two months, no murders and no word from Robert. It's almost creepily calm for the amount of chaos that has been my life in the last year. You would think that I would've heard something from the man who left me a note threatening.. no.. promising to end my life. But that's what has me on edge the most. I know that Robert is waiting for the police to back off. He's not stupid. He waited a year to even come back around and make himself known. He's no stranger to waiting.

"Hey, why the long face?" Kelly asks from behind me.

I turn on my barstool and smile at him. "What long face?" I ask, trying to sound happy.  I can tell that he can tell it's fake.

"Chanel, you're thinking." He says with a slight frown, opening his arms and wrapping them around my shoulders. "What's on your mind, baby?" He asks me, prompting for more from me.

I sigh, knowing I can't keep anything from Kelly. "I'm just worrying, that's all." I say while reciprocating his hug and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"What are you worrying about, pretty girl?" He asks with a smirk and kisses the top of my head.

I look up at him, trying my best to keep myself from blushing. "It's just that Robert's gonna come back at some time and I don't want anyone to get hurt because of him. Especially not you or the kids." I admit to him. I've learned that it's better to just tell Kelly what's on my mind once he asks because he's going to find out anyway. He's good at that.

"I know that he's still out there." Kelly sighs in agreement with me. "But I know that when that day comes, we'll be ready. We're not going to let our guard down. Okay?" He asks, grasping my face in his hands and looking me deeply in my eyes. "I will do everything in my power to keep you and this family safe."

"Okay." I say in a small voice and lean into Kelly. He pulls my face to his and kisses my lips tenderly.

"Besides," Kelly says to me with a smile and looks to his right, out the large window that encompasses our kitchen. "He's gonna have a hard time finding us here."

We moved to a high rise house in downtown Chicago last month. I ended up getting a huge paycheck from stocks I invested back in high school that I had completely forgot about. The company I invested in ended up selling out to the one and only Disney and my cut of it was enough to buy this new place. Talk about a stoke of luck after a long, long shit show.

"I need to figure out how to worry just enough." I say, slightly joking. I'm always so worried. If only I could find a way to stay on guard but not over think. Wishful thinking, I guess.

Kelly leans back and connects his eyes with mine. "You just worry about your kids, and I will handle Robert if he even tries to breathe near you."

I smile at him. Somehow, Kelly always makes me feel better, even when I'm lost in my own head. I never knew that love could be so pure and honest. I spent years being trained to think that true love was controlling, demanding and giving your all to someone no matter what. Kelly has taught me that love is patient, love is kind; just like the Bible says. It's the one thing that I believe the Bible is right about.

But Kelly also showed me that love is giving your all to someone who gives their all back. Someone who will communicate to you openly and honestly no matter the situation. Love is being able to see past yourself and feel what your partner is feeling, see the world through their eyes and help them heal. I used to think that I had to be completely healed from my past to be loved again, but I was wrong about that too. Some of us never fully heal from the past, we just learn how to cope with it.

I believe that someday I will heal from the damage that has been done to me because I work everyday to tell myself I am not who Robert made me believe I am. I am capable of love. I am worth love. I am more than he ever made me believe I was..

And Kelly's the one who made me realize that.