The next few days pass in a blur. For the most part they consist of tears, hugs, and just wanting my family to leave me alone. Part of me has been thankful for them. They have were there for me even before there were maids and guards around to do everything for me.
The biggest problem, though, is Maxon. He took a few days off from his meetings to stay with me, but he has not shed a single tear since we found out. I understand his need to be strong—he is the leader of the country after. I just know it is bothering him, but he refuses to tell me.
I wish he would cry instead of walking into the bedroom at night and holding me close. Maybe working is his solution to his pain, but that is not always going to work. Having to be the strong one in the group often makes you crash the largest. I dread the day when he does crash because there could be no way of picking him back up.
Today is the first Friday after the accident. That also means the first Report after the accident. Maxon and I had planned out this one ourselves instead of doing it with a bunch of advisers. Today was when we were going to announce the pregnancy to the country. At what should be three months and I half, I was going to start showing soon and it was only weeks before I was to begin showing.
This accident, though, was definitely not what we had been hoping to announce on the report. The entire report had to be replanned so no one would find out about the miscarriage. The last thing we need right now is the rebels attacking us because we told them that we are weak.
I look over at the clock on my bedside table and put the bookmark in my book. Then, I stand up, quietly walk over to one of the doors on the wall, and open it. What I see behind the door is what keeps me going, but at the same time is what is making this so hard.
The nursery is Neverland themed. In the middle of the room is a cradle with a mobile over it of Peter Pan, Wendy, John, and Michael flying. In a corner of the room there is a tee-pee serving as a toy box with numerous stuffed animals stacked up inside. Peter's shadow is on the wall above the changing table. Several pieces of furniture are scattered about the room.
I sit down in the tee pee and grab the nearest stuffed animal. I squeeze it to my chest, part of me imagining this is my child, not a stuffed toy. When I pull it away from me, I realize I don't recognize this toy. I picked out most of the toys that were to go in the nursery in addition to all the furniture and decorations.
I turn the stuffed toy around in my hands. It is worn down and you can tell that it has been loved before. One of the eyes of the stuffed bear is missing and the other one has been attempted to be sewn back on. The softness of the toy has worn down over time as well so it is no longer the soft toy the original owner played with.
I am about to put it down when something on the bottom of the bear's foot catches my eye. Maxon's name is scribbled on the foot of the bear in black cursive. I glance around the room and notice two other stuffed animals with identical print on the foot. The others are not as worn down as this bear is, but they all show the same purpose: this is where Maxon has been grieving.
§§§
Part of me is terrified as I step out of my changing room in my dress. It's a dark blue dress that is just shades away from being black. It is simple in the front but comes down into the shape of a v on my back. It has a silk skirt that hangs down elegantly. My hair is tied up in a knot and I only wear simple dark pearl earrings. I must admit that I have never looked more like royalty than I do right now.
I wait for Maxon in the hallway for a few minutes as we were planning to walk down to the Report together. When the door to his dressing room opens, I turn to look at him. He gives me a small smile as he takes my arm. "You look beautiful, America," he tells me. A slight blush covers my cheek.
"Thank you," I tell him. Neither of us say anything more as we begin to walk down the stairs to the main floor of the palace. I begin brainstorming something to talk about and all it says is to ask about the bears. Finally, curiousity gets the best of me as we walk past where the rooms of the selected were. "I was in the nursery today. . ."
He looks down at me with a confused face. "Oh?" Maxon asks, he face telling me that he is unsure of where this conversation is going. As we approach the stairs to go to the main floor of the palace, he stops at a large window.
"Maxon, I found three stuffed animals with your name on them. . . Did you put them there?" I ask, unsure of how to bring up the topic. He avoids my eyes and stares out over the garden below. Finally, he shakes his head.
"I did. They were some bears I found a few days before. . . it happened. I didn't have any use for them so I decided to put them in the nursery," he tells me. I stare into his eyes. They are covered with a glassy expression and part of me knows that he is about to tell me something.
"I was just. . . Were they special? One seemed like it had to of been your favorite," I say. He shakes his head and looks back at me before looking down at his watch.
"No. They were just stuffed animals. We need to get on downstairs. The report will be starting soon," he says. I nod and we begin to walk downstairs again. I silently sit through the Report, not paying any attention. Instead, my mind is on Maxon and those stuffed animals.
I apologize that it is taking me so long to update! I am trying to update as much as I can but there is always that cliche excuse of school. I apologize.
Disclaimer: The Selection belongs to Kiera Cass, not me.
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The Addition (The Selection)
FanfictionBook 1 in this series. America and Maxon have been married for two years. America loves getting to wake up next to the love of her life. But she isn't as happy with her current life as she thought she would. What happens when she decides that she's...