The Love of Jury Duty

It Wasn't Supposed to Be This Way

"Hey! How was your Thanksgiving?" I smiled bolting the seat in place

"It was great. Visited the in-laws. You've gotten really far on this car man. It looks great. How was yours?"

Mike helped me set the roll bar in position and held it while I bolted it in place.

"Thanks. I'm glad you had a good holiday. Mine was kind of stressful."

"Lindsey?"

"No, Lilly. She's become very depressed because I've had to spend less time with her. I think she's giving up on whether I'm going to end things with Lindsey."

"What's that have to do with Thanksgiving? Ready for the back seat?"

"Yeah. Lilly text me on Thanksgiving around 10:30 to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving and that she misses me and loves me. So I wrote back the same. Later on I'd find some time to text her and even found some moments to try to call her. I called and called and text her and she never answered. I started to really stress and panic. I ate dinner, helped clean up and went directly to her house."

"Wait...Lilly didn't answer or call you back? Hand me the wrench."

"No. I walk in and her oven and TV are on and she's asleep on the couch. I woke her up immediately and naturally she was happy to see me."

"Was she sick? I mean I can see why you were so upset."

"She said she slept all day. She lost track of time and slept the entire day. I was angry at her, but it was only because I was so worried."

"Wait...she was alone on Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah. I had no idea until I got there. I flat out asked her if she was depressed and she said yes. Then she broke down and...she'd never cried like that around me before. I kind of knew...she hadn't been the same since I stopped coming over all of the time."

"You're hurting the wrong person. You know that right? It's not right to hurt either of them, but you let your guilt and fear of hurting Lindsey get in the way of your happiness with Lilly. You haven't been the same since you stopped seeing her all of the time either. You realize that don't you? I've noticed the change in you and so have the other guys. You're moody, you're here all of the time, you're distant. You weren't like that when you were with Lilly all of the time."

"I know and I feel like an asshole. Lilly told me Jacob notices her sad all of the time and he notices I'm not there. So of course he tells her ex and he basically berates her for 'getting in a relationship with another asshole that just leaves you' and so she sits at home alone stuck inside her own head thinking there's something wrong with her because everyone always leaves. Meanwhile I feel like a fucking piece of shit because I'm hurting her way more than I realized, I'm hurting Jake which I never wanted and I've made her feel so alone..."

"Nick...man I don't know what to say. You've got to make a decision."

"I did. I promised Lilly 4 more weeks. I was moving in with her in 30 days. I've got a lawyer and he's waiting for my word."

"Good. She's good for you."

We got out of the car and shut the doors. I rest my head against the roof and sighed deeply. I couldn't wait for this to all be over. I missed Lilly. I missed our time and everything. She was amazing and beautiful. I just wanted everything back to the way it was. I hated all of this. Mike pat my back and I sat up and half smiled

"It's gonna be alright. Don't let it bring you down."

The door to the shop slammed shut and we turned around. I gasped and rushed over to her and hugged her tight closing my eyes. She hadn't come to the shop to visit in months and I just needed to hold her tight.