This is a Book I Guess#5

Welp

I had another seizure, awake.

At least I think it was a seizure, the details I still have formulated in my head are clear as day.

Literally silently yawned/stretched with one eye closed and the other half-lidded.

Then I started to have a twitching head that wouldn't stop going upwards. My opened eye kept on twitching repeatedly, but not too much twitching, as if you were opening a door and slamming it repeatedly.

I couldn't control any if this, so I tried to call my mom a couple times until she heard my whines—because I sleep in the livingroom—And she did on the third or second time, she apparently noticed my whole body jerking uncontrollably.

It all stopped at a short amount of time.

She asked me how much sleep I was getting.

Well, I won't give an answer completely, but I'll say... I try to stay up as much as I can, because my insomnia could possibly kill me.

But the thing is, it's a bad mix with epilepsy.

Because epilepsy needs your brain to be functioning in a steady manner.

And stressed is why that's one of the main causes. But also not getting enough SLEEP is one of the main causes of it too.

So, now I'm stuck here. I'm trying to figure out what time I should sleep, just to make sure my insomnia can't put me in a situation I can't get out of.

My mom is as well.

But also, after the whole seizure thing, my mom and me had a talk.

So, if you remember me saying I had to talk to my dad about my depression, because believe it or not, he was oblivious, even though I took pills and crap before.

But, I was uncomfortable with his side of the family. So, yeah, we talked about it.

But now we're doing another one, with my dad, and the one who caused most of my pain, my step mother.

None of this is good to me. And last talk, it was calm. But now my step mom in this? We're basically asking for death at this point.

But honestly. Would I care?

I don't know.

So much confusion.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm not upset by any of this, so... Don't deserve any pity.

Anyway, cya.