Oof I'm sorry for being gone so long, also sorry that this story is getting worse and worse. I'll try to make it better. Also, this chapter has mentions of molestation. If that will trigger you in any way please don't read. Thank you, enjoy :)
After Kate and I did some explaining to my new believers, I let the wind sweep us into the sky and in the river's direction. I could feel a new sense of belonging rushing through me, and I was holding the girl that I maybe sort of love. Things couldn't be better, and that's why they got worse instead, because what goes up must come down. My stupid brain let the bad thoughts poison the good ones. It seemed as if every time I was happy, I started to think 'what if I mess this up?' or 'what if this isn't good enough?' I knew somewhere in my mind that there was a possibility that even though Kate got a handful of adults to believe, they might just forget me again the next morning. What's to stop them from thinking it was just a weird dream? And the thing with Kate? It never going to happen. She's from the world of the living, and I'm from the world of magic and spirits. Plus, I doubt she sees me as anything of importance to her. Though to be fair, I don't think anyone thinks I'm important .
As my self hate was rising to the surface of my brain, so were my bad habits. All I wanted to do was cut, and I didn't know why. So many good things were happening just moments ago with Kate, and I'm on my way to see Greg, so why?
"Hey, Jack, are you okay?" Kate questioned as she waved her hand in front of my eyes.
"Huh? Yeah I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" I asked as I snapped out of my daze.
"Well, after we landed, it was like you didn't even notice, you were just staring off into space."
Kate was right, I didn't notice that the wind had set us down at the spot where Greg and I agreed to meet.
"Sorry, I'm just... tired I guess."
"Jack, you haven't been cutting again have you?" Kate asked worriedly.
"No, I haven't since..." I trailed off, remembering I had already cut today even though nothing particularly terrible happened. I'm starting to realize the sick fact that I might just be cutting because I enjoy marring my own skin. I also realized that I never told Kate what was really bothering me, or that a couple of days ago I was ready to kill myself as an experiment. I'm so stupid sometimes.
Kate's face contorted in confusion, but before she had the chance to question me further Greg came into view.
"Hey, Kate could you give me and Greg a few minutes to talk? I have something I have to talk to him about privately," I said cheerily, careful not to let my voice expose the scary thoughts in my mind.
"Yeah, sure. I guess I'll go downstream a bit and take some pictures of the river or something. Call me over if you guys need anything." Kate smiled sweetly as she waved at Greg who was approaching us slowly.
Once Kate walked away, Greg came up to me looking surprised. "You came back. That's cool I guess..." Greg seemed like he didn't really want to be here. Maybe he only came just to see if I showed up. That thought stung a bit; I thought I had found a new friend in Greg, but he probably doesn't feel the same. "Who was that?" Greg spoke again, breaking me from my self depreciating thoughts.
"My friend Kate. Don't worry, she's really nice," I explained.
"Where's she going?" Greg asked.
"I asked her to give us some time to talk," I answered, waiting for him to ask more questions. I really should stop procrastinating; I need Greg to hear what I have to say.
"What... did you want to talk about?" Greg asked hesitantly, not really sure if he wanted to know the answer or not. Our last conversation ended in a bit of a soft spot for me. I'm assuming for Greg too, seeing as he's the one who broke it off so abruptly.
"Well, I noticed you don't open up to people who care about you, and I know that that can be lonely..." I paused for a moment trying to keep from thinking about what Pitch showed me of Greg's life. "So, I-I was, uh," I stammered nervously. Taking a deep breath, I decided what I really needed to say to him, and then blurted it out so I wouldn't have time to change my mind. "I was wondering if you might consider opening up to me."
My plan was to never tell Greg that I already knew everything about him, but to let him tell me himself instead. It seemed like my plan was failing when all Greg did for a long time, was stare at his feet.
"So... I'll take that as a n-"
"It's not that I don't want to. I also really want to be your friend, but I'm scared," said Greg. I could almost feel the pain in the dark-haired boy's eyes, as I stared at them through his thick, youthful eyelashes.
I understand why he would be afraid, I would be too if I went through what he did, but I have to get him to tell me why he's afraid on his own.
"There's nothing to be afraid of, I can help you." Greg didn't seem to believe me just yet. I had to find something that would break down his walls, even just a little. "Greg, I can protect you, you can trust me," I said trying to convince him.
Greg seemed to suck in a quick breath at hearing my words, and I knew I had just made the tiniest crack in his walls, but it was enough for the words to start seeping out.
"I-I was..." Greg stuttered, still looking down at his feet. He took in a gulp of air, as if to muster up the courage to tell me everything. "If I tell you this, you can't tell anyone. If you do, he'll..." He trailed off, unsure of how much to say.
"I won't tell a single soul." After a long pause, I urged him to tell me more. "Who will do what Greg? I'm right here, I'm not going to let anyone do anything to you." I could see the moment my words sunk into his soul. The crack in his wall had made the wall crumble completely, and once the words came, he didn't stop until every last thing was said.
"Something bad happened to me last year. I was... I was molested. The man that did it told me that if I ever told anyone he would kill me. That wasn't when my depression started but that was when it got so much worse, oh yeah I forgot to mention that I'm depressed, but I guess you already could tell," Greg stopped only to chuckle at his self-sacrificing joke, and then to gasp for air. "My mother died when I was four and my father left us when I was born, so I had no one in the world. I was taken in by my aunt and uncle, but they don't care much for me. Every day, I think about if I was never born, maybe my mother would have died a little happier. She would have had a husband, and wouldn't of have had to struggle so much with her medical bills. She was so sick and in so much pain all the time, and it was my fault. I feel like I deserved to get molested as a punishment for what I did to my mother." By now he was panting from saying so much so fast. His eyes were glazed over with so much pain that when he looked at me, he broke down sobbing in my arms.
"It's all right Greg, I'm here. You can let it all out now." And that was all I could say to him in that moment. If I talked again, I would most certainly break my silent promise of never shedding another tear of pity for him again.
