Teenage Dirtbag -South Park Creek

Worst filler chapter so far

Craig's  P.o.V

"I'm leaving again!" I shout through the crack of my front door

"Again?" My dad yelled back "you went to Kenny's house just two days ago!"

"I'm going on a date!" 

"Okay honey have fun!" My mom shouted.

I close the door and walk to my truck. Me and Kenny are going roller skating. He told me to leave my wallet at home but he's crazy if he thinks he's paying.

I turn and go to the roller rink where Clyde had his tenth birthday. I don't remember it that well but priests or something showed up? Something like that.

I walk out of my car and grab my keys and wallet. I slide both in my pocket and walk in. Kenny said he got a ride so he was there before I was. 

"Craig! The man!" Kenny said at the tables. 

"Hey babe" I said as I kissed him on the forehead.

I felt a weird vibe next to me. Then I saw why, Kyle, Stan, and cartman were sitting across from Kenny. I don't really give two shits about Cartman and he doesn't give them about me, he was just sittin' there eating his fries. But I used to date both Kyle and Stan. Hell I lost my virginity to Stan! Stan was staring at the ceiling awkwardly and Kyle was looking to his left.

I heard cartman sniff loudly then pick up stan's drink

"Stanley."

"Yes."

"Did you put whiskey in this?"

"Uuuhh heheh maybe"

Kenny leaned across the table to give him a fist bump "nice"

"Why'd you put alcohol in this? I thought you quit!" Man, Kyle is basically Stan's bitchy wife holy shit.

"Well yeah that was before I knew Craig was coming!"

I don't blame him honestly it's always weird having ex's around. Now I got two of em. Also they're best friends.

"Oh c'mon guys Craig isn't that bad" Kenny told them.

"I know I know it's just weird"

"Yeah Ken you basically brought Wendy here" Kyle said

Oh! I forgot Kyle dated Wendy after Stan and her broke up for the millionth time during freshman year. 

"What do you mean?"

"Um? What?" Stan asked

"Oh this is getting juicy" cartman turned to us

"Did you not know that...both me and Stan dated... "  Kyle told him. Well he tried too.

"No?"

"Haha damn Craig you a hoe" 

"Shut up cartman" I rolled my eyes at him

"Well that's just weird. If I knew that I wouldn't have you know invited  him?" Kenny told them.

"We thought you already knew" Stan said 

"Wait Wait Wait. Hold on just one second." I realize something "you knew I was going to be here so you brought whiskey?" 

Stan pulls out his flask. "Yup"

"Hey! Here's a fun idea! Let's skate!" Kyle says with fake enthusiasm.

Kenny grabs my hand as we get our skates. He pulls out his ratted wallet but I take it away from him. 

"I got this"

"You don't have to pay for everything" he argues 

"Yes I do."

He put them on and roll out. He skates out gracefully but I'm having some trouble getting out there. My long legs are trembling. He smirks while watching me struggle to stand. Asshole.

"Help!"

He laughs and rolls towards me. He kisses my forehead then leaves while giving me the finger. That's my thing ass hat. I give him the finger. Then I try to finally get the hang of actually standing. I let my hands off the railing but almost fall again. I mumble some profanity and try to roll back to him. The last time I did this was at Clyde's birthday and even then Tweek had to help me.

"Get back here dickhead!"

"Nah."

"Sir can you push me towards that traitor blond over there with the orange parka tied around his waist?" I asked a husky man with his wife and kids. 

The man gave me a small push on my lower back towards Kenny.

"Hey assface thought you would see the last of me huh?" I tell him

"Yeah kinda. You're bad at this." He said

"Fuck you" 

He laughed and grabbed my hand. Then we just rode around the rest of the day. We talked to his friends a little at the snack shack thingy. But overall it was a good day. A really nice afternoon. But there was this one really weird moment. Wendy and red were skating around the rink too. They were holding hands. I'm pretty sure Tweek told me they were dating but I can't really be certain. You see two guys holding hands and you immediately think they're gay but two girls holding hands can just mean they're really good friends. But Wendy is best friends with Bebe and Tweek. Once red skated by us she smiled and waved at Kenny. You would think she would be waving at her cousin but no she waved at my date instead.

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Huh..

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