Teenage Dirtbag -South Park Creek

"Everything is not what it seems"- Selena Gomez

[Craigs P.o.V]

I hate you Clyde. Clyde, got damn I forgot your middle name, Donovan. 

Well here we are at the pond, pushing our paddle boats out onto the pond. Oh but of course you wanted to ride with Jimmy since he was the "handicap rowing boat campion" which doesn't make any sense because of his legs. 

How convenient that it's just Tweek and I. Alone.

Fuck. Now I'm thinking about how much of an idiot I was at the coffee shop earlier. I'm so stupid.

 Tweek pushed our boat out onto the water and hoped in. 

He sighed once he got in and smiled, he was happy to be out here. I on the other hand..

"So!" He said breaking my thoughts, "you gonna start paddling there noodle legs?"

I smiled and blushed "nah I think I'll let you do all the heavy lifting"

I stretched my arms and legs out which didn't take up that much space, I close down my eyes still smiling.

"F-Fuck you dude" I could tell he was grinning even though I couldn't see him

Score.

I readjusted myself and started paddling out onto the middle of the pond along with Tweek. The boat moved a lot faster when I started helping him.

Once we got to the middle of the lake we stopped paddling. The sun glared in his eyes 

"Man it's bright out huh?"  He said squinting up at the sky

"You want me to move it?"      "No thats okay—"    "I can move it if you want"

I started to paddle on my side to make it at an angle where neither of us had the sun shine in our eyes.

"Oh Uh Thanks," he rubbed the back of his back while smiling at the water

"No problem" I stated, smiling back.

There was an awkward pause of silence from both of us and it made me uncomfortable so I tried to break it.

"Man I pictured like swan paddle boats not this,, leaky shit" 

Tweek giggles and I felt my back warm up "swan boats? So was Clyde right? This is a date?" He leans forward and smirks 

I could tell he was just trying to make me all defensive and push my buttons but I won't let him this time.

I smiled back, I like his new cocky attitude, it's kinda hot

"It can be whatever you want to be baby" 

"Pfft! Baby? You sound like a 1920s ex-army man trying to score a baby basket"

I laughed "a baby basket?"

"Ya know, like a womb"

I laughed more

"Isn't that how they sounded back then? Like, oh Roger I lost my lace umberella in this dreaded wind but at least I'm here with YOU sugar pie" 

I grinned and played along, slapping on a terrible 20s accent "it's alright darlin' the ol' chaps Clyde and Bonabell will get it back"

"But Roger you got me that, oh many moons ago on our anniversary!"

"That was the best time of ma life. When I asked you to be mine before I went out ta the sea"

"I love you sugar pumpkins!"

I got on one knee "Oh Darlene I love ya so much will you take me as your man, and you as my baby basket!"

He laughed and stood up "Oh puddin' I will!" He slipped on a fake ring onto his ring finger