Teenage Dirtbag -South Park Creek

Kill me

[ Craig's P.o.V]

All I saw was darkness. I opened my eyes and that's still all I saw. I didn't know where I was for a second before remembering what happened last night. Me and Tweek slept in the same bed. I felt a shiver down my back and arms at the thought. 

Why is it still dark in here? I thought 

I didn't know which part of the bed I was in, my sense of balance kinda just left. I tried getting up but I didn't know which direction was up. I felt what my face was buried into and I expected it to be my blanket or sheets but I felt a shirt. I was confused at first but then, but then. I realized it was Tweek's Star Wars shirt. I tried to jump up but Tweek's arms were around my shoulders and neck so I couldn't move up and they only tightened when I tried. I felt my ears get hot and sweat started to roll down my back. I don't blush with my cheeks like a normal person, I blush with my ears. Why do you think I wear this hat? Okay it's mostly cause my ears get cold super easily but also that other reason. 

I wiggled my way out of Tweek and started gasping for air. I forgot I couldn't breath under there. 

He was somehow still asleep so I started to put my clothes on. It was summer so I didn't wear my high waisted pants like I normally do. It was finally starting to reach the 70s in June. I wore these retro purple dinosaur shorts. They sound super lame and look like pajama bottoms but I promise you they're not and no amount of token or jimmy's comments is going to change that.

I went into the bathroom and started to brush my teeth, I went back into my room while still brushing my teeth. I looked at the clock and saw it was 11 in the morning. Dang I really slept in huh. 

Tweek finally started to wake up, he stretched and asked for the time.

"11:28 am"

"Shit are you serious!" He asked, sounding a little panicked. Well he always sounds panicked but he sounds even more so right now.

"Uh, Yeah?" I Said back while he was rushing around to get his clothes on.

"I'm late! Oh shit dads gonna kill me! I gotta get the ingredients from kenny!" He stopped in his tracks and looked at the ceiling "Oh shit I gotta see kenny. And his weird drug dealing roommates. They scare the shit outta me, even though I'm 6'1." He  continued to rush around my room

None of what he just said made sense. I thought he was late for his job at the coffee shop? What the hell do kenny and drug dealers have to do with that? Since when did kenny even have roommates? What ingredients? He's over 6 feet tall? How tall is token cause he's taller than Tweek? How short am I?

"What ingredients?" I asked with toothpaste falling out of my mouth

He stopped and looked like a deer in headlights "Uh...coffee filters"

I squinted my eyes "that doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about coffee to say you're wrong"

I looked down at the ground and whispered to myself "do you buy coffee filters from kenny? Why don't you get them at the store?"

"Gotta go see ya!" He said racing down my stairs 

"Wait!" I called out, spraying toothpaste all over my hallway. I kinda wanted him to stay. For some reason my arms felt heavier and my feet felt lighter. I really  wanted him to stay, but I shrugged it off and kept brushing my teeth. 

After I was done done brushing and cleaning the hallway walls off I went downstairs and saw my mom and dad sleeping on the couch together. I smiled. Today was supposed to be their day. They both finally took the whole day off so they could spend more time together but it looks like they passed out on the couch. But I know I'm going to have to babysit Trish since they're going on a date later too. This is gonna suck. I'll probably just have Tweek come over or something. Tweek... that's weird he was my first thought instead of Jimmy or Clyde. I guess we've been getting closer. Fuck wait. My ears started to get hot again. 

I felt my back pocket, of the coolest shorts in the entire world, vibrate. I looked at my phone and it said:

"Incoming call from: Taco Twat"

"What do you want?"

"Heyyyyy" Clyde said in his annoying little 'I know who you liiike' preschooler voice 

"What."

"Can't I just say hi to my bro?"

"Not in that tone of voice" I told him, while going outside and starting to walk around.

"Wow. Okay, dad. You caught me"

"I wasn't trying to catc-" I tried to say but he cut me off

"I was at the coffee shop but Tweek wasn't there. He was late."

"Yeah I know"

"And how do you know that"

"Cause he was at my house idiot" I said rolling my eyes.

"That's funny", he said in a weird suspicious voice. Like he knew something "you told us after he woke up you would drive him straight home"

"It started raining long before he even woke up, he woke up at like midnight"

"And uh, where exactly did Tweek sleep? Did he sleep on the couch? You wouldn't have let him sleep on the floor, would you?"

"...No, he slept in my bed" my ears were warming up, oh that's just fantastic.

"So... you slept on the couch?"

I stopped walking. He knew what happened. Tweek probably told him, they're getting weirdly close and I hate it. Not because I'm jealous but because I get weird phone calls like this.

"...no." I Said 

"Oh? So you slept on the floor?" I knew Clyde was grinning like an idiot on the other side of the line. "Or did you sleep in the same bed?"

"Yeah! We did! It's not that big of a deal Okay? We did it at the Grand Canyon!"

"We never made it to th-" 

"That's besides the point!" I was getting mad for almost no reason but I couldn't stop myself. I usually am really good controlling my feelings "why does it even matter! You're making this into a bigger deal than it has to be. You already saw us sleep in the same bed before and you never made fun of us then!"

"Yeah cause you guys didn't cuddle there"

There was a long silence between both of us before I hung up. Damn Tweek this is why you don't tell clyde things. To be fair I would be doing the same if it was the other way around.

I started walking faster as my ears and back got hotter as I walked towards starks pond. That's just my go to place when I'm bored. It's fun to watch water. 

When I got there, some people were swimming around. I couldn't really recognize them at first but then I saw it was Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, Red, Wendy,  Kevin, Bebe, and Lola. God I hate Lola. I don't even know her or have a reason to hate her but I just... do.

"Hey Craig! Come swim out in the water with us! The waters real  fine." She called out while showing off her, god I don't even wanna say it, cleavage.

"No thank you! That's gross!" I shouted back with a smile.

I turned around and started to walk back towards my house. No way in hell am I swimming in the same pond as Kenny and Red. And Lola. God, I hate her even more now. Thanks a lot Lola. You could have just let me not like  you without a reason but  nooOoOoo.

I walked into my house then shut and locked the door behind me. I went upstairs and peeked into my mom and dads room. They were on the bed, watching reruns of American Dad with the lights turned off. Weirdos. 

"Hey kiddo" my dad said "whatcha doin?" 

"Nothin" I Said, "just seeing where you guys were"

"Remember you have to babysit tonight Okay?"my mom told me

"I know" I said, leaving the room

I went back into my room and flopped onto my bed. I groaned into my pillow. It was weird seeing kenny again. 

But I didn't feel sad...

I didn't get all emo boy sad on him, I just... cringed. And that's it. It feels pretty good knowing I won't have to pity myself anymore.