Bubble Gum

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I remember being told that if you swallowed your chewing gum, it would stay inside of you forever. That both horrified and fascinated me. A piece of gum could remain with you forever? Some people tried to explain to me that the gum actually passes as normal. But I don't believe them. They're all idiots. So I've found a way to not be lonely anymore. I found a way to turn humans into chewing gum, on the dark web. Man, there's tons of brilliant stuff on there. So I killed my girlfriend and turned her into chewing gum. She wanted to leave me for someone else, but now she'll stay with me. Forever.

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