Spy School remade

Second choice

Ok so apparently I get ideas in the middle of the night when I'm supposed to be sleeping which often results in me writing terribleness edited chapter so I apologize in advance. Now I have decided to not end this book but I will probably not be updating very often. Anyways I have a book that will probably be released in September but ya. Anyway enough of my rambling.

Ben's POV
It was the day after we had gotten back from mission tiger shark and I was laying in bed thinking about what happened. Zoe liked me. Erica kinda liked me. I'm pretty sure Mike liked Zoe. I liked both Zoe and Erica. God my life was more messed up than a romcom. Oh no, my life was a romcom.
After thinking about these thing for hours I reluctantly checked my ancient bedside clock, it was 2:15 in the morning. I have learned from experience that taking walks often helps me clear my head and gets me to sleep so that's exactly what I did. It was raining outside so I decided to just take a walk down my hallway and through the dormitories. It was reckless but I had no better ideas and I was not looking forward to laying awake for hours overthinking everything.
I was walking down the hallway when I heard a soft crying coming from a room I immediately identified as Zoe's. Why was Zoe crying. I knew it was none of my business but I decided to check it out anyway.
I knocked softly on the door and immediately heard a bunch of shuffling and a small crash before the door opened and out popped a red-eyed messy haired Zoe who had clearly been crying.
"Hey" I said "I heard crying and I wanted to see if you were ok."
"Do I look ok?" She said rather harshly.
"Well what's wrong."
"You wouldn't understand." She started as she closed the door but I jammed my foot in last minute.
"Maybe I will, you never know. So how bout you tell me and then we'll see." I said genuinely wanting to help her.
"Fine then" she said as she led me to sit on her bed. "You want to know the problem. The problem is you!"
"W-what?!" I asked surprised.
"Don't you see?!" She asked whisper-yelling so she wouldn't wake up the other students. "You're the problem! No matter how much I try to make it blatantly obvious you still don't get it! I love you Ben, I've loved you since the first day you came! I love the way you get nervous whenever you're embarrassed, I love your goofy smile, and your messy hair, I love you Ben and no matter what you still don't get it. Do you know how hard it is to give someone your everything and still be pushed to the side because that what you do everyday! I'm so so sick of being second choice! I so sick and tired of never being the one people like or being the pretty girl everyone goes for. For some reason people don't seem to understand that Erica won't give them anything that all she is is a pretty face but that's all people care about isn't it, how pretty you are. Not what your personality is or how funny you are because if you're not freaking gorgeous you don't matter in this world and don't you dare tell me that's not true because I've seen it with my own two eyes. Look at you and everyone else here as an example, I've been there since day one, I've stood by you no matter what, yet all you do is push me aside because you like Erica. What has she ever done for you. She's literally told you she doesn't want a relationship yet you still can't get over her. You know what I'm done. I'm done chasing after you. I'm done being second choice to Erica. I an done with being the one people come to after being rejected by Erica, I'm done being the one no one wants, the backup plan, it's like going to pioneer village when you wanted to go to Disneyland. I'm sick and tired of being second choice, of crying over people who don't give a crap about me. I'm done."
"Zoe I'm so sorry." I said feeling really crappy about how I've treated her. "I never knew how much you loved me."
"Ya you never knew because you can't open your stupid eyes and see what's right in front of you." She said angrily, no longer crying. "So get out. You and Erica can have your little fantasy. Just don't come running to me when everything falls apart. I gave you everything and you threw it all away. So I'm done I deserve someone better than you. Someone who will put me first and not just come running after the love of his life rejected him. So leave don't talk to me don't check on me just go." I didn't even notice that we had somehow moved beside the door, and with that pushed me into the hallway and shut the door.
I went back to bed more awake than I was before. What have I done. I lost my best friend and it was all my fault.
~D