Pen to Paper [N.H.]

3.3 - Inhibition - Choices

Niall's POV

How can I know if I'm making the wrong choices? I was going to stick to being professional with her, forget about being friends with her, push her away. But the second I looked at her earlier today, the moment I saw how tired and unhealthy she looked, something in me broke. That was me. She's hurt, she's not sleeping well because of me. Of course, there's absolutely no proof of that. But I couldn't help it. I felt guilty.

The reason I wanted to push her away is that so I wouldn't hurt her. But seeing her like that, it felt like it's too late. And I couldn't handle it. I couldn't face her. So I left. But she came here, and she tried her best to make me feel better even though she had no idea what's wrong, and she didn't even ask. That wave of support and positivity, it made me feel like okay, maybe it's not too late. Maybe I didn't break her. It doesn't mean that it's not gonna happen. And I still kinda don't want her to get too close. But at the same time, I feel like I can't let her out of my life. What if Conor is right? What if she can help me be better? I'm so confused. I don't know what's the right choice. Push her out, or let her in?

I brush the hair out of her face, slowly caressing her cheek. I don't want to wake her up but I kinda have to. She obviously needed to sleep. God knows when was the last time she had a decent night of sleep. She starts shifting in my arms, slowly waking up. She looks around the room confused, then turns to me, eyes wide open in shock. Quickly she sits up straight and grabs her phone.

'1 AM! Oh my god! I'm so sorry! Why didn't you wake me up earlier?' She asks a bit loudly.

'Why aren't you sleeping at night?'

'You noticed?'

'Yeah, I noticed this morning but then I got caught up in my own stuff so didn't ask till now. What's going on Clo?'

'Nothing don't worry about it. I'm gonna go home now. Sorry if I overstayed.'

'It's late, you're not taking the tube.'

'Then I'll call a taxi or something.'

'Can't you stay?'

'Ni...'

'Please. I don't want to be alone.'

'Call your friends.'

'It's 1 AM!'

She looks at me raising an eyebrow then she chuckles shaking her head.

She stands up and asks, 'Coffee or tea?'

'Aren't you tired?'

'I slept for 3 hours straight! I'm actually wide awake now. You're very comfortable.'

'Yeah I know I'm very cuddly!'

I make her smile. I really hope she never loses that smile.

'Well if we're staying up, I'm gonna need coffee.'

'Alright. I'll get started on that while you... I don't know. You've been stuck on this sofa for 3 hours because of me. I'm sure you have stuff to do.'

'Well, turns out you're a very light sleeper. And I didn't want you to wake up when you obviously needed the nap.'

Chloe's POV 

I hand him his coffee, take a seat next to him, turning to face him while crossing my legs.