Pen to Paper [N.H.]

10.2 - Inscription - Release

Niall's POV

Sometimes, a person could feel both happy and upset at the same time. It's very confusing. I worry about her, sometimes when we're hanging out she just zone out and go into her own bubble, and judging by the look on her face and her often watery eyes, nothing good happens when she goes there. But don't get me wrong, I'm very happy that she's back with me, and it is indeed better than ever. I'm really happy with her. And I hope she's happy with me as well. And it does benefit both of us to keep it a secret, even though there's already speculation about the two of us, because of the pictures from LA two months ago. They didn't know her then, but they will recognise her when we start promoting the book.

We were both called into a meeting, setting the next step up. Clo and I, well much more her than me, but I was there in the room with her, did the necessary edits, taking up to a month to be done. It was hard to keep our relationship a secret. And it was harder on her than on me, because she had to continuously lie to her best friends. The nights she spends at my place, she'd tell them that she's spending the night at her cousin's which apparently recently moved to London and she's reconnecting with her. Of course, this entire story is not true. I try to comfort her, I try to convince her to tell them, and that they won't give her a hard time because they love her and they just want her to be happy and if she's happy with me then they'll be okay with us being together. But she's not letting me through. She's not opening up to me anymore. And that worries me. 

We're up late tonight, just laying in our bed starring at the ceiling. Tomorrow we have our first interview to promote the book, she's stressed and nervous about it and can't sleep.

'Clo, darling, it'll be fine I promise.'

'But what if I say something I shouldn't?'

'Like what?'

'I don't know, what if they ask us about our relationship?'

'We'll tell them just like we practised it. We got to know each other while writing this book. And naturally, there has to be a lot of honesty and vulnerability between the two of us. So we did indeed grow a lot closer than we expected to. But we're just really good friends. No more, no less.'

'Yeah, I get that, but what if they recognised me from the pictures?'

'We already talked about this! They're not allowed to bring up the pictures, and if they do, we'll take care of it, they'll edit it out. The interviews are not live.'

'Okay, but if they corner us and we had to answer. How do we explain that we kissed? It's not like we can say it's not me because it's obvious.'

'They can't do that. It's not really up to them. To the world, we're just friends. Isn't that what you want?'

'Yeah...'

'Well then. Stop worrying it's all taken care of.'

Chloe's POV

After the first day of interviews, I start to relax more. People are actually nice and professionals. And just like asked, no one mentioned or pushed too far when asking about the two of us. We're spending a few weeks going all over the world for the promo tour, we're going to LA, New York, Berlin, Japan, Australia. Once again I'm mostly alone with Niall, so things get easier. The overthinking lessens, and so does the paranoia. That's the beauty of being in a foreign country. I mean sure, we have to be extra careful going out in the streets of LA and New York, but other than that, in the hotel rooms and in the other cities, we get to be us, together, in love, happy.

But It's not all perfect and lovey-dovey. We've been having some problems. But this time it's because of me. I've been having a tough time letting myself be completely vulnerable to him again. It's not easy, after everything I've gone through with him? Of course, it's not gonna be this easy. But I love him and somehow in our own messed up way, we're happy together. And he's very patient and understanding with me. Much like I was with him back then.

I have to admit, there were some really bad days. It was last Tuesday in New York, I woke up in his hotel room, his side of the bed cold as ice. And just like that, I just started crying my eyes out. I remember when a few months ago it was nearly impossible for me to shed more than two or three tears unless I'm watching very specific movies. But now, it's enough for Niall to be inexplicably gone and I just don't know how to stop. Eventually, he did come back, turns out he just went to get us breakfast. When he got to the room, he dropped everything on the table nearest the door and just ran to me and hugged me tightly. He thought something bad has happened or that I got some sort of bad news on my phone. But it wasn't anything. It's just me and my made-up scenarios.

Today was a good day though. We're in Berlin, we finished interviews in the early afternoon, we walked around the city and even though we had to cut it short and go back to the hotel because people were taking pictures of us without our permission, we had fun. We're laying in bed, it's sometime after midnight. I've got my head resting on his chest, his arms safely around me, but we're both wide awake.

'We have a flight to Japan tomorrow. It's gonna be exhausting! We should get some sleep.'

'But if we sleep now, we won't be able to sleep on the plane, and the whole flight would be frustratingly boring.'

'So what? You wanna stay up all night?' He asks me.

'Well, no, not all night. But at least till 4!'

'Okay, what do you want to do?'

'I don't know, just talk I guess. About random things.'

'Like what?'

'Do you have any dreams that you haven't achieved yet? Doesn't just have to be career-wise.'

'I guess it would be nice to be nominated for a grammy? There's still a lot of places that I want to visit, there's still a lot of songs that I want to write but haven't yet. I want to eventually when the time comes, settle down with someone, get married, have kids do the whole family thing. I'm hoping if my career continues like this, it won't get in the way of that. But I guess I'll figure it out then somehow. What about you?'

'Well, I haven't achieved any of my dreams yet.'

'Well, that's not true! You're a published writer now!'

'Meh, I mean yeah okay maybe I am, but no offence, I'm eternally grateful for this opportunity, but I wanna publish my stories, about my characters, my world, something that started in my head, that ends up touching and affecting hundreds of thousands of readers.'

'Yeah, I get it. But now you're one step closer! Once we're done with the promo tour, you're signing a new contract with the publishing house and you'll start achieving one of your dreams. But what about the others? What else do you dream of?'

'I don't know...'

'There's gotta be something.'

'You know what, I think I'm starting to get sleepy.'

'Clo! Come on! Look I'm not gonna insist. But you do know you can tell me anything.'

'Yeah, I know. I'm just' I yawn and then continue, 'Sleepy.'

'Alright. Suit yourself. Goodnight darling.'

He kisses the top of my head, so I lift myself off him and upwards to reach his lips, leaving a light kiss on them.

'Goodnight baby.' I say before drifting off to sleep in his arms.