alusion (because the world needed it)

A Life to Remember (3)

whoops.
category: series
word count: 1154

The demon's body toppled lifelessly to the ground in two pieces, what could only be described as blood seeping down into the grass and, furthermore, the dirt. 

Gusion couldn't care less about it.

"Alucard!"  Gusion, still at his high speed, appeared in front of Alucard before he fell, holding the demon hunter up.  Tears filled his eyes as he heavily gripped onto the blond, blurred gaze looking at the wound, visible through the ripped-up portion of his jacket and shirt.  The demon had raked out a portion of Alucard's chest and stomach, blood freely gushing out.  Alucard leaned onto Gusion, weapon fallen from his hand as he weakly grasped onto Gusion, grip tightening as he wheezed out a liquidy cough, a swear leaving his lips, alongside a dribble of blood down his chin.

"Gusion-"  Alucard weakly wheeze, pain eminent is his voice.  Still, weakly, though, he pushed himself a bit away from Gusion, eyes on his lover's wounds.  "You're--it didn't.. it didn't hurt you too bad, right?  You're okay?"

A sob left Gusion, and he barely held back another.  "You.. You're asking me if I'm the one that's okay?!  Of course I am, you dolt, you're the one who's.."  He choked, unable to finish the sentence as he brought an arm up, wiping the tears out of his eyes while making sure not to get his blood smeared over his face.

A feeble sigh of relief left Alucard before another cough rattled his body, and he once again leaned onto Gusion for support, forehead resting down onto the brunet's shoulder.  "Good.  Thank God.  I..  I don't want to lose-" Another smaller cough.  "Don't.. want to lose any more family to those.. bastards..."  His words were a wheeze, each breath only adding more to the pain he was already feeling.  His voice cracked, though, as he spoke again, "I don't want to die to a demon."

"Alu..." Gusion shut his eyes, burying his face into the soft blond locks of Alucard's hair, tears flowing freely now.  His grip on the other changed, becoming more of a hug than just holding onto Alucard.  "Never.  I'd never let myself die to a demon.  So, please, don't do it either.  Please.  Please.  I.. I can get us back to the City, if.. if you can just-" 

"That's bullshit and you know it, Gus."  Alucard's voice sounded defeated.  Broken.  "It took two hours to walk here.  Speed or not, you wouldn't be able to-" Coughs once again racked Alucard's body, and he gripped tighter onto Gusion's, chest heaving.  "I'm sorry.  I shouldn't.. I shouldn't have-"

"No!  Don't apologize!"  Gusion cried out, his hug tightening as well.  "Don't you fucking dare apologize!"

"If I hadn't been as worried-"

"Alucard.  Please.  Stop." 

Silence filled the surroundings, only broken by Gusion's quiet cries and Alucard's heavy, painful breaths.  And, then, "I love you, Gus."

"Gods--I love you too, Alucard.  So much."

"Please.. don't forget me.."

"Never, Alucard.  Never."

The sound of Alucard's heavy breaths stopped.  A cry was ripped from Gusion's chest as he slowly sank to his knees, bringing Alucard's lifeless body down with him.  Sobs racked his body as he cried, tears rolling down his cheek and falling down onto strands of blond hair.  His grip on Alucard was even tighter as he sobbed, body numb to the wet feeling of his blood-soaked clothes on his body.

How unfair it was, how the birds started their song again.  Were they not just witness to such tragedy?  They sung not for a demon, but sang as the hunter died in his lover's arms?  Scream, Gusion wanted to scream at them to shut up, but he couldn't.  No, he doubted he could make out any word over his crying.  His mind was only full of the man in his arms--no, the man who's body laid dead in his arms.  He could've prevented this.  He could've saved Alucard like Alucard had so recklessly went in to save him.  Yet, nothing, there was nothing he could do but unwillingly have that moment played on repeat on his mind.  Over and over.  Again and again.

The funeral was worse.

Gusion stood alone in the front row of the pews.  In the tradition of the Demon Hunters, the first two rows were reserved for the fallen Hunter's relatives.

He was the only one left alive.

Behind him were Demon Hunters and civilians alike, rows upon rows behind him.  Alucard had saved so many, had been known by so many, admired by so many.  He had been their unkillable hero, their undefeated champion, their hope.

Now, he was gone.

Killed.

Defeated.

Reminder everybody will die.

And who's fault was that?

❛ I don't want to die by demons - ❜

Snap out of it.

Gusion brought his hand up to his mouth, covering it to cover the unpreventable sob that escaped him.

This was his fault.  This was his fault.  This was his fault-

He could imagine it.  The thoughts going through their heads.  Blaming him.  Hating him.  It was Gusion's fault.  He hadn't been fast enough.  He wasn't able to break his limits.  He was the reason Alucard acted reckless and died.  He was the reason Alucard was killed.  He was the reason Alucard was defeated.  He was the reason their brightest hope against the Abyss was crushed.  It was his fault.  Thoughts overwhelmed him.  The stares he'd thought up became unbearable.  The eyes burning into his back, the hatred within them, Alucard-

Gusion silently fell down onto his knees, head bowed down as tears streamed freely from his eyes.  It was okay, though, because the tears blurred his vision of Alucard's lifeless body under him as his mind replayed that wretched event.

The silence at their home was unbearable.  No--his home.  There was no one to share it with now.  Everywhere Gusion looked, everywhere he turned to, memories jumped at him.  There, the hanger that Alucard would hang his jacket.  There, the couch where they'd lazily sprawl out on together, cuddling the day away.  There, the kitchen where he'd hug Alucard from behind when the blond made breakfast, peppering his neck with light, sleepy morning kisses.  There, the bedroom where they'd slept together, Gusion safely curled up in Alucard's warm arms.  There, the porch where Alucard had gotten down on one knee and proposed to him.

It was unbearably silent.

Gusion let out a scream, a cry of utter anguish, fingers threaded into his hair.

There were no more memories to be made.

He ruined it.

He let Alucard die.

What good of a lover was he if he couldn't saved the person in his life that meant the most?

Alucard.

Alucard, Alucard, Alucard, Alucard.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"  It was all met with an empty silence.

Gusion couldn't do this.

He couldn't be alone.

He couldn't live without Alucard.

That's when the idea appeared to him.