alusion (because the world needed it)

heart

mafia au-ish.  oop-
category: oneshot
word count: 1300

It was unnerving.  Gusion hated it.  It dug under his skin and nested there, unsettling every damn bone in his body, jarring every organ in his body.  Especially, though, his heart.  All because of one thing, one person, one motherfucking bastard: Alucard.

Alucard, Alucard, Alucard.  Captivating.  Illusive.  Fearless--no, not fearless.  Gusion knew that.  Knew it damn well, knew what Alucard's only damn fear was.

And he hated it.

He didn't understand it.

Couldn't comprehend.

Such a simple thing to fear.  Such a simple thing to jerk away from.

Love.

How pitiful.

All the while, Gusion hated it.  Hated how Alucard always tore his gaze away from Gusion when the brunet caught his lingering eyes.  Hated how Alucard always silver tongued an excuse out of a room whenever Gusion came into it.  Hated how Alucard refused to speak to him.  It hadn't always been this way--no, gods no.  When Gusion had first joined, Alucard has been his mentor.  His overseer.  And Gusion?  Helplessly fell in love with him.  And, then, had worked up the courage to steal a kiss.  Alucard--damnably beautiful Alucard--had actually kissed him back.  Grabbed Gusion by his waist, brought a hand up to the nape of his neck, fingertips brushing brunet locks.  Wanting.  Needing.  And, then, Alucard broke the kiss, stepped away.  Gusion still remembered the conflict in his eyes.  The fear.  And, then, Alucard had left, abandoning a confused Gusion who's fingers were softly touching his own lips.

Gusion hadn't forgotten that, and he knew Alucard hadn't either--no matter how damn much Gusion knew he was trying.  And, so, he knew he had to confront Alucard.  How?  Not a damn clue.  But he was pissed for having been left after kissed without a damned word spoken to him.  It made him angry.  It made him pained.

Was he not good enough?

Why did Alucard fear him?

Fuck, he hated it.

Hated it so damn much.  Alucard--such a coward.  He'd never confront Gusion, not of his own free will-

And that's when he got the plan.

Gusion acted quickly, before his courage could falter.  Briskly, he wed to an area where he knew Alucard always went at this time, knew because he'd been brought there himself as the blond's apprentice--the bar.  As known, Alucard was there.  As expected, as soon as Alucard saw Gusion walk into the establishment, he murmured a few words to the group he'd been talking with, eliciting a few drunken complaints, no doubt not liking their storyteller's sudden departure.  Placing his hands up in mock defeat, Alucard took a step back before turning around and walking away, disappearing through a door labelled WORKERS ONLY.

Typical back exit use.

Undeterred, Gusion brazenly followed after, ignoring teterring girls calling after him.  He ignored a server's protest as he slipped through the door, mind determined on one thing and one thing only.

Gusion found him in the back alley. 

"Alucard."

The surprise and conflicting emotions of Alucard's face only flashed for a second before being hidden.  "I didn't see y-"

"Shut the fuck up, asshole."  Perhaps they werent the kindest of words, but could you blame him?

Alucard's eyes narrowed, obviously not liking the words spat at him.  "Listen, I don't know what you need, but I've got to get going, so if you'd let me-"

"Stop lying!  I'm so fucking sick of this!"  No words spoken for weeks and this is how Alucard treated him?  Like Gusion was nothing?  Bullshit.  Fucking bullshit, and damn Alucard to hell if he thought he could just leave Gusion again, abandon him without answers.  So, he was blunt.  Straightforward.  "Why are you afraid of me?"

"I'm afraid of nothing, Gusion.  You should know this."  Alucard cooly responded, a placid expression on his face.

How Gusion hated it.

Gritting his teeth, he stepped forward, earning a hesitated step backwards from Alucard.  Nevertheless, Gusion continued forward, not letting Alucard move any further back.  In a thought of rash decision, he reached into his back pocket, pulling out a gun, clicking off the safety and placing the barrel pointed on Alucard's temple.  No fear was shown on Alucard's face, no tension in his body.  Gusion's finger hovered over the trigger, brushing it.  A single pull, and Alucard would be dead.  Blood spattered onto the wall.  Yet he still showed no fear.  Unshakable.  Gusion knew this, so why did it hurt?

"So a gun doesn't scare you,"  Gusion's voice was a quiet whisper as he leaned in, his emotions betraying him as he spoke again.  "But my heart does."

Alucard was silent, eyes once more showing turmoil before, finally, he breathed, "Gusion..."

The brunet flipped the safety back on, letting his arm fall and gun drop from his grip, tumbling down onto the concrete ground below their feet.  Strong--something Alucard had taught him, to never let his emotions show.  Something Gusion was failing to do as of now, tears pricking his vision.  "Was it me?  Is there something wrong with me?  Is that why you left me there that night?  I.. I thought.. Alu, you kissed me back, I can't get it out of my head, b-but you just.. left me."  The words kept tumbling out, tears ready to spill.  How badly, Gusion wanted to reach out.  Close the small gap between them.  But would Alucard step away again?  Would Alucard leave him once more?  Gusion--he was scared now.  Scared to be left again.  By the man he loved.

Alucard sucked in a breath, seeming to ponder his words before he spoke them.  "Gusion.  You know.. I can't.  Emotions-"

"Shut up and speak form your heart, not your mind!  What do you want?  Truly.  Do you want me or not, Alucard?  Don't..  Don't cause me more pain than you already have so.. please, just.. just make a decision.  Please."  His voice sounded hoarse, and he cringed at the sound of pain in his own voice, something he hadn't heard in his voice in a long time.  He hung his head down low, unable to keep his gaze steady upon Alucard's.

Silence lapsed once again, and Gusion was just about to step back.  Leave.  Never look back, forget everything, but, then, Alucard finally spoke.  "I don't want to lose you when I love you, Gusion."  Unabashed words.  Truth.  Vulnerability.  Gusion looked back up, eyes widening at Alucard's words.

"Then..."  He let the silence trail off, not wanting to be the one initiating again, not wanting Alucard to have anymore excuses to deny his own feelings.

There was no hesitation now, as Alucard moved forward, getting rid of the small gap between them, locking lips with Gusion.  Once more, his arms roped down around the brunet's waist, pulling Gusion closer to him.  Eagerly, Gusion kissed Alucard back, heart pounding as his cheeks flushed, eyes closing as he let Alucard pull him closer, loosely wrapping his arms around Alucard's neck.  A soft noise was drawn from the back of his throat as Alucard deepened the kiss, becoming more needy, more desperate, his hold tightening around Gusion's waist.  The brunet pressed himself closer to Alucard, a feat nearly impossible with how closely the blond had pulled Gusion towards him.  They broke only for air, the duo taking in needed breaths, eyes locking onto the other's, emotions, vulnerability, openness.

"I won't ever leave you, Alucard.  You won't lose me.  I promise."  Gusion breathed, refusing to break eye contact, wanting Alucard to see the earnesty in his his eyes, his words.

"I'll hold you to that, Gusion."  Alucard murmured, a smile genuine creeping onto his face.

Gusion loved it.

He grinned moving in this time, giving Alucard and giving him another kiss.

To reach greatness, one must always face their fears and rise and, gods, Gusion was glad Alucard had.