RVB: [OneShots]/[Stories]

Live for me. | [Chruch!XDepressed!Reader!]

Requested by precious_starboy (I'm so sorry it took so long >n<)

Days in Blood Gulch went by ever so slowly. Everyday was the same, Church screaming at the other blues because of some idiotic thing that they've done followed by caboose's near attempts of killing Church. There was never anything new going on and it bored you to death. Back at home was where things got rough, which was why you enlisted in the first place. To get away from the abuse and manipulation your parents put you through, and to finally be free from their torturing grasps. It was much better here, but your past haunted you every step you took. You never really opened up to anyone here, maybe it was because you didn't know how, or because opening up to them was just weird. You felt suffocated, and the constant pained smile that you wore on your face everyday was starting to get sloppy. If caboose could tell that something was wrong with you,  than it would've been pretty obvious everyone was starting to realize that something was up with you.

Today was no different. You woke up to the piercing sound of a tank firing, followed by the massive vibration that spread across the blue base. You sat up on your bed, unamused that your morning literally started with a bang. Looking out the window at the familiar scenery gave you a pinch of peace, knowing that you are away from that hellhole you've put through for the most  of your life.

A small knock on your door woke you from your trance, making you turn to face the door.

"Hey yeah, come in!" You shouted across your room, having no plans to get out of your bed.

The door opened and in cane Church,
the closest blue friend that you've made in Blood Gulch. You and him could relate on a deep level, and it was nice to have someone to talk to when you can be assured that the other feels the same way. You felt connected to him in a different level, not how you would usually feel with caboose or tucker. Little did you know, church felt the same way.

"Hey, good morning [Y/N], looks like that blast woke you up. " Church greeted as he walked into the room, closing the door behind him.

You smiled, gesturing a place on your bed for him to sit.

"Morning church," you greeted back with a delighted beam. "What brings you to my room today?"

"The same reason that I come here every morning, it's because I want to chat with someone."

"Funny, you should be checking up on caboose or tucker if i do say so myself."

"Hey, let me slack on my job a little, would ya?" Church said as he flopped onto your bed, making it sink in a little.

Both of you stared out of the window, each other just enjoying the company. That sense of safety, something that the both of you couldn't describe with words. Whenever you were with each other, nothing else in the world mattered. Sometimes, it was just nice to just be together physically- to know that the other is right beside them. Even if it wasn't chatting, it was nice to know that the other is there for you.

Church knew that what he felt for you was real, all the struggles that you had to put through made him believe that you were strong, and he admired that. The way you decide that today will be another day to make the best of it, oh, how he wished he could do the same. Without you, he would've probably gone insane because of his teammates, you were the light to his dark tunnel, and he was determined to be yours.

"You know," you started, breaking the silence. "i honestly feel that i can trust you in anything."

"Gotta admit, I feel the same way too." Church kept his cool, even though inside he was cheering in his victory.

He beamed, glancing back at you with sparkles in his eyes. He looked so happy being there with you. He never really showed that side to anyone, and the last person he probably showed it to was Tex. Church knew that he could feel at peace with you, whether if it is that caboose blew up the base again, or the reds making a big fuss about red team being better, all he needed to feel better was to have your presence in his line of sight. 

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You sat at the edge of the mountain in a cold, dreadful night. You didn't keep track of the time, but you've probably been there for an hour, just staring out at the canon below. It wasn't your first time finding yourself at the edge on nights that made you feel like life has given up, but usually Church would be there for you. It hasn't happen in weeks.

Church went missing, and that broke you immediately. It just happened in a blink of an eye, one night he's here and the next day he was gone. You held it together, trying to be there for a confused tucker and a heartbroken caboose, but you forgot about your own well-being. Their emotions crawled onto yours, when you probably felt the most pain.

Nothing in the world mattered anymore. You failed, you couldn't keep the one you loved. Tucker and caboose are gonna feel so much more worse, but you had already given up. Sure, your love for them and even the red team were genuine and unconditional, but the suppressed dark struggles got to you. You didn't care anymore, this is just how life is going to work for you.

You stood up, breathing in the last moments of air entering your system. You've already out so much thought into this, and you've come to the conclusion that you just couldn't do it. You started to cry again, crying for the thousandth time this night. A wave of regret and humiliation hit you, all the things you were at fault for, all the instances of regrets that you would never take back. All the suppressed emotions came gushing out, sending more motivation to jump.

Just than, something wrapped around your waist and you were rapidly pushed back. When you came to your senses and looked back, you saw a worried church who was near to tears.

"[Y/N], what the hell are you doing?" Church exclaimed, breaking down a little.

You cried, ashamed of what you were about to do. Church softened, and embraced you into a big, protective hug. It was comforting, even though the both of you were crying. His hands ran down your back in a continuous loop, hoping that it would calm you down. Church gave some soft 'shh's into your ear, making you feel a little more at peace. The embrace was warm and caring, just that atmosphere that you needed.

It stayed like this for maybe 15 minutes, but church wasn't tired of it. If it was to save you, he would gladly do it for eternity. Church pulled away and cupped your face. Your swollen eyes made his head break, and the fact that you were afraid to make eye contact with him crushed him even more.

"[Y/N], babe, look at me." Church said in a soothing tone as or eyes slowly reached his soft eyes. "I don't know what you've went through when I was gone, and you can be mad about that, I can explain. But you can't give up on yourself."

"I'm sorry."

"There's no need to be sorry." Church reassured, "I just.. i just thought I lost you. I can't, you are the only one I will allow myself to live this way."

Church pulled you into a soft kiss. A comforting one, in fact, it dint match the person he was, but you loved it. It scared you at first, but you gave in. You felt his lips curve into a smile, enjoying the moment he scored you for sure.

"[Y/N], if you think there is nothing you have left to live for, live for me. Live for the team. Just continue finding reasons to live, don't give up." Church consoled as he pressed his forehead onto yours.

"I love you, [Y/N]."

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(Author's note)

hey guys ! I'm sorry if it was really rushed, I'm running out of ideas (TnT) , but if you have any requests, feel free to spam my "requests is open!" Chapter in this book! Thank you so much for all the support I've been receiving, I love all of you!