Saviour-(s.m)

17

A/N: this is to everyone who wanted a double update today! I'm going to sleep, enjoy :)
*
"I'm so sorry" Lance breathed as he held my hands and I choked it a sob. They both hugged me while I cried into my hands from the fear.

I felt so violated, no one has ever treated me that harshly before ever or called me such vulgar words like 'bitch'. I felt so disgusted by the way he put his hands on me.

I hate him so much. He thinks he has power over and gets to treat people shit when he should treat people equally.

It was so horrible how his unjustifiable anger had led him to such extreme actions. It had put fear in me now of how quickly his anger triggered his actions.

And I was just starting to like him.

"It's okay Elle, please don't cry" Cole tried soothing me.

"I don't- want to-cry bu-but I'm scared" I confessed as my voice cracked and my tears spilled down my cheeks.

"Don't be scared we are here" Cole says and I nodded as I wiped my eyes.

"I'm going to sort him out right now!" Lance yelled and I grabbed his hand.

"Don't. It will make it worse and he might end up killing you" I joked and they let out a chuckle.

"Oh geez, you're getting a bruise on your neck" Cole says.

"I'll get you some ice maybe you should wash your face and dry up those tears" Lance says and I nodded as I stood up and followed him out.

He went downstairs to get me ice and I headed towards the bathroom. My tears dribbling down my cheeks as I sniffled. I stood by the mirror washing my face with cold water before looking at my neck.

There were Shawn's finger marks imprinted on the skin of my neck. Just seeing it was scaring me and I did not like this heavy weighted feeling on me. I felt a shiver run through me as I looked at the marks.

I just honestly felt sick.

It was the anxiety giving me such a heavy weighted feeling in me. I hoped I would be fine in a few days and I could be normal again.
-

I was back in my room with Lance and Cole watching a movie, we had the pizza and snacks while we relaxed. I definitely feeling much better with their brotherly comfort from the both of them.

"Don't be upset" Cole says as he nudged my arm.

"You gave him the slap that he deserved" Lance laughed.

"I'm so sick of him. Why does he act like that towards you both when you're his friends?" I asked.

"It's just the way he is, but we think it's funny" Cole says.

"That doesn't give him the right to act like that towards people just because he has power" I exclaimed and they laughed.

"You're just too nice but it's like this in this lifestyle" Lance says and I sighed.

"He's so fucking frustrating! Like he acts normal and then things make him angry and then he does dumb shit like this" I say and they laughed.

"It's only because he's bipolar I think" Lance says and I sighed.

"I don't even want to talk about him now" I say and they nodded as we continued to watch the movie.
__

S H A W N -

What the fuck did I just do?

I can't believe I fucking laid my hands in her, I felt so ashamed and disgusted with myself. I said so many horrible things to her, she must hate me so much right now.

How could I even do that?

She had every fucking right to slap me. I wanted throw myself in a ditch right now, how could I even look at her face ever again.

I was so angry, my breaths increased as I stared at the mirror. I gritted my teeth and angrily slammed my fist into the mirror which shattered at my knuckles and cut my skin, which dripped with blood.

My anger calmed slightly before I looked at my knuckles which were cut and bleeding.

"Shit" I cursed finally feeling the throbbing and sore sensation. Now I had to clean this up and clean my knuckles up too.

Once my knuckles were bandaged up I went to my room, opening the doors to my balcony. I sat down and watched the soft rain patter down.

The memory hitting from a few days ago in the library with Elle.

***Do you like the rain?" I asked after a few minutes of silence and the sound of rain pattering on the window.

"I love the rain and the sound especially" she smiled and I gave her a nod.

"Why?" I asked.

"My dad and I used to sit by the window just like this, and we would have cups of hot chocolate just watching the rain. He also used to tell me stories when we used to sit watching the rain" She explains with a smile.

I stared into her soft eyes with a stray blondes strands framing her face. Her sweet smile made some weird feelings erupt in my stomach.

"Do you like thunder?" I asked.

"Lightening looks cool but the sound is too loud sometimes which scares me and I can't fall asleep" She says and I laughed.

"What about you?" She asks and I shrugged.

"Never really had deep thoughts on rain or thunder like that before" I replied says and she giggled.

"Maybe I'll be seeing the rain differently" I smirked and she rolled eyes.***

I couldn't sleep once I got into bed, her face was haunting me.

The look of fear and a salty tear that escaped her eye when my hand was gripped around her.

I hated this feeling she had over me and I hated myself for doing that to her.

I have never regretted something like this ever in my life and I kill people for a living.

But hurting her was probably my worst nightmare, my job is supposed to protect her yet I'm the one hurting her.

My mind was clouded with guilt and I know she will never talker to my after this ever again. And she has every right not too.

But I came to one conclusion.

Maybe I do really like her...