Saviour-(s.m)

62

Shawn hasn't spoken to me for almost a whole day. I barley even got any sleep last night because I was lonely and super stressed.

My mind was jumbled up with so many mixed thoughts and plans. I have no idea what I'm going to do.

Cole and Lance equally had been supporting me and taking care of me.

Currently, I was sat in the library with a book and bowl of fresh strawberries Cole made for me. I was just hiding up here in all honesty because I was scared to see Shawn.

I let out a deep sigh before I stretched my legs out and laid on the floor. I rested my head against the pillow I was on. I looked at the white carved almost vintage styled ceiling.

I closed my eyes and tried to relax by taking deep breaths. My mind was totally confused up and I didn't know what any solution could be.

I love Shawn so much and I didn't want him to be like this towards me but however I also wanted to have his baby.

But from yesterday's turn out, it seems like I couldn't have both.

My eyes shot open when I heard footsteps. I lifted my head up to see Shawn coming closer and taking a seat on the floor beside me. I looked at his face and he had a big purple bruise on his cheek.

However, I just shuffled away from him. I should have got up and left but I just didn't have the strength to get up.

"Elle?" He whispered quietly but I don't respond.

He let out a very deep sigh before he continued to talk.

"I want to talk to you" He says but I still didn't respond.

"I know what you're doing but I understand. I'm just going to talk to you anyway whether you want to listen" he says.

"The truth is I'm scared-"

"Scared? What are you fucking scared of? I should be the scared one" I yell suddenly cutting him off. He jumped in surprise and hit his head.

"Jesus- will you not yell like that" he says.

"I know you're scared. You should be. However, I'm scared about how we're going to do this. I'm just worried about the life we have right now, living in fear from enemies. If we're ever going to make it back in through the door again." He says and I stayed quiet this time.

"I know I said some extremely hurtful words I didn't mean at all. I never meant anything I said, I was angry and confused. None of this is all your fault anyway. And I love you so much, you're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone. I love you so much whole heartedly and I have never ever loved anyone in my whole life except you" he breathes out.

"I'm just confused" he adds and I let out a sigh as I wiped a tear away.

"I love you a lot too. But I also love this baby, and I know I can't have both. Whether you want to be here for it or not I don't care. But I all I know is if you want out then I'll be fine raising the baby on my own, I can do it without you. But it's up to you now whether you want me and your baby, or I will just leave" I say looking at him.

He took a few minutes before he could reply.

"I want to do this Elle with you. I want to have a baby with you but I'm scared. I just don't want anything to happen to the life we're going to bring into this world" He says with a crack in his voice.

"We can do this together like I've told you. I'm always going to be here for you. But I need you to assure me that you will be there for me too" I say and he sighs.