For the love of the game

Chapter 2 // charity case

              " ok, so the game starts at 7:10 so that means we have to leave the house by 5:30 to get there early and watch batting practice." I say in one big breath
             After picking up Jordan from school we decided to go get ice cream since it's Friday and we survived another week.  Getting out of the car we all walk up to the apartment to start getting everything ready.  I pack some snacks while Jordan and Jason start to get ready.
            " hey Alex have you seen my jersey?"  Even when we just watch the game at home Jason wears that damn jersey.  Boys am I right.
" it's probably dirty in your hamper Jason." I say hoping he gets the hint and wears one of his other shirts.  " doesn't smell too bad eh I'll be fine" but I won't I think to myself.
               I don't own a dodger jersey because they are just way to expensive.  I just go with some black jeans and a blue dodger Taylor shirt.  I get Jordan dressed in a white dodger shirt and some black leggings with her Nike's and a blue sweater.   I put her hair in a pony tail and just brush mine and we are ready to go.
                " do you think I'll catch a foul ball" says Jason eagerly. I roll my eyes and the likely hood of that
" maybe, you never know" I say keeping my comments to myself.
                    We arrive at the stadium by 6 and get into the stadium.  Our seats aren't great we are in the middle below the nose bleed seats on the dodgers side of the dug out.  We get dodger dogs and my brother and I discuss the different players swings.
                  All of a sudden hear the crack of a bat and hear everyone starting to shout heads up near us.  A ball is actually coming our way my brother puts his glove out to catch it right before it hits me in the head.  He both look at each other wondering if that really just happened.  Then we just start laughing, Jordan joining in on the laugh. 
                 The people around us start giving Jason and I high fives and eventually go back to watching the game.  Dodgers shut out the d backs 4-0 and finish up the three game series.
              We make our way into the field to watch the fireworks and I notice it got a lot colder and of course I forget to get a jacket. Nice one Alex.  We make our way past the dodgers dugout where we can see the players gathering there stuff and heading to the clubhouse.
               I always wondered what it looked like in there.  I'll probably never know unless I'm cleaning the inside of it.  
               We get to the field and now I'm hugging myself freezing my ass off just so they can watch some fireworks.  I hug my little sister hoping some of her warmth will rub off on me when someone taps me on the shoulder.  It's a security guard. Uh oh what did we do now . 
              " sorry to bother you miss but one of the gentlemen over there requested that I give you this jacket.  He said that you looked cold."  I gaze over to the dugout to see if I can figure out why someone would offer me a sweater when I catch someone looking this way. Cody Bellinger.  For some reason this makes my stomach flip and then makes me mad. I look at the sweater in my hands a blue dodger sweater that feels so soft and would probably be really comfy and shove it back in the security guards hands. 
              " tell Cody Bellinger that I am not a charity case." I watch the guard take the sweater back and Suddenly I'm not cold anymore. I can't really feel anything  I just feel numb.  " you ok Alex" says Jason with concern laced in his voice.  Jordan is hugging at my waist trying to comfort me.  I smile down at her and then say to the both of them " come on let's go so we can beat traffic it's late anyways."
                 We get into the car and I turn on the heater immediately feeling better once the warmth hits my skin.  Jason turns on the music   While Jordan's already passed out in the back. 
                  I have Jason carry her to her bed while I get all the stuff.  I'm too exhausted to change to I just kick my shoes off and climb into bed.  I can feel the tears already coming.  Why does it have to be this way. Why can't I be a normal teenage girl and not have to worry about bills and kids and doing everything for everyone.  Why can't I once get a boyfriend or get real friends that understand what we go through.  I've never been enough for anyone. There's nothing i can do or say that will make me enough for someone.  I clearly wasn't enough for my mom. All the times I tried to help her and do things for her meant nothing. 
            Or when I started dating this boy Jackson and we dated for almost a year just to find out he wanted nothing but sex from me and told everyone I was begging him to do me.  He went on to call me an anorexic bitch who should kill herself.

Another thing is I won't be able to attend college I can't afford it especially with two kids still in school.i probably won't ever have kids I'm too scared that I'm going to mess them up like my parents messed me up.I get to bounce between coffee shops and waitering jobs for the rest of my life.  I guess everything happens for a reason.

Hope you guys enjoyed chapter two and if you have any suggestions or comments feel free to leave them I would love to read them!