The Difference Between Getting and Needing

t w e n t y - f o u r

i know your mind is set,
so i'll take what i can g e t . . .

〰️〰️〰️

I was dreaming that I was back in high school, late for class as usual, and the warning bell was ringing to a steady beat. Like someone pressed the button and it got stuck. Trying to walk through one of the hallways against the traffic of bodies that belonged to my entire class I graduated with was like trudging my feet through molasses. Everyone was pushing, shoving, barreling into one another, and no one was speaking. It felt so real but it made no sense.

It wasn't until I came out from the state of limbo I was in – somewhere between asleep and awake – that I realized my phone was going off. My own personal warning bell.

For a minute, I thought I was fine. It hadn't kicked in yet, the hangover. Then again I wasn't even sure if enough time had passed for me to actually be hungover.

I was still wasted on whiskey. Whose idiotic idea was it to go out last night?

Attempting to open my eyes was the most physically demanding thing I could've done, but I managed to barely crack one. As I went to lift my head and search for my phone hiding somewhere in my pillows, it all came crashing down on me.

I thought I was going to vomit on the spot and it felt like someone came at my skull with a sledgehammer. It was still pitch black in my bedroom which told me it was way too early. My phone wouldn't stop fucking buzzing. If I wanted to open my mouth to complain, I couldn't because my lips wouldn't move and I was scared to throw up.

The buzzing stopped if only for two seconds before it started up again, and a growl came from my throat. Finally, I found my phone lodged between the mattress and the headboard. Just when I was ready to turn off the alarm I'd set to wake me up so I could finish packing, I saw that instead I was getting an incoming call. I couldn't read the name or see the photo; all I could see was the green arrow to accept it.

Knowing what day it was, I figured it may have been important, so I swiped to answer and shut my eyes again as I laid my head back down.

I grunted for a greeting and my mom was already squawking in my ear.

"Bayla! What are you doing?" She demanded, flustered.

"I... uh." It was all I could get out without feeling like everything I'd eaten yesterday was going to resurface.

"Don't even bother. I know you were sleeping," she huffed. "You'd better get moving, we're almost at the airport. Sutton and Koa are there already. I've been calling and texting you for the last two hours since we left."

I swallowed thickly, holding back the urge to hurl as I mumbled, "Sorry."

"Just make sure you arrive in one piece, please. Sutton's already hysterical, your father is going into cardiac arrest just thinking about flying, and your grandparents got off on the wrong exit when they left Jersey. I'm hoping I don't need to peel you off the sidewalk or clean vomit out of your hair when you get here. That's the last thing I need."

"Okay, okay. I'm going," I said as I kicked my legs out from under the covers. Ziggy sleeping beside me didn't even move an inch.

"There's an accident on the Schuylkill right by the zoo which slowed things down for us a lot, and 95 is backed up because of construction. If you make us late for our flight so help me God, Bayla I will–"

"Mom! I'll be there. Goodbye."

I could hear her continue hollering about something as I hung up and tossed my phone aside. I'd have to deal with her later, but right now I didn't have a damn minute to spare.