13 Reasons Why [L.S.]

Tape Eight

"So....this next one is definitely competing with Zayn to be the one that hurt me the most and played the biggest role. This was once again a person I thought would never turn his back on me. My own father."

Oh no. Why does the parent always do something to mess up the relationship they have with their child? I couldn't even imagine what I would do with myself if my mom turned her back on me.

"At this very moment he's actually sitting in the living room downstairs not having a clue what is going on in my room right now. Well, dad, I barely feel I can call you that anymore that's how much you damaged me and our relationship. Let me tell you all the story of what awful things my own fucking dad did to me."

Yes, please do - note the sarcasm.

"I tell my mother almost everything, and in the same way she tells my father almost everything. So everyday when I came home, a new person having harmed or betrayed me in some way, I told my mom. I cried on her shoulder practically every night because she was the only person I had left. I still did have Troy, my dad, but I didn't trust him nearly as much as I did with my mom. My mom, though, did trust him and told him a lot of the things I told her so he could get an insight in my life. Little did she know, that was a very bad idea. It's not like I blame my mom for passing the information of my life further to my dad because he was, after all, my dad. I only blame Troy in this case."

Troy. I've seen him a very few number of times. Each time he has looked completely regular and placed in a loving family to me, but that could just a facade. It's scary how easy it is for people to pretend in every situation they need to. How some people can fool everyone around them for their own benefits and laughs.

"After a little while Troy started bugging me with the fact that I had forced a girl in bed with me to pretend she was a guy. My mom believed me when I said that I didn't really do that and that it was a manipulation of the truth, but Troy didn't.

And that's not the only thing; Troy was also very disappointed of me when I came out. He told me straight up that if it wasn't for my mom he would have kicked me out right there and then. So me being gay was always something I had hidden away completely each I was with him. It was like I created a whole new persona to put on when I was with him. I had to act like I was something else. I had to hide away my true self. And that tore me apart, but at the time I still had my mom, my friends and I had a boyfriend."

A what now? A boyfriend?? I've never seen or heard anything that included him having an actual boyfriend. Okay, I'm officially jealous of a person who dated the love of my life who is now dead. What is my life.

"I know I haven't mentioned the boyfriend before but trust me I'll come back to him later.

So, then my friends started hating me along with basically every other person I knew. But my own father. The man that had raised me my whole life. The man I had looked up to and searching accept from practically ever since I could walk. He hated me."

He couldn't. His own son. That's just mad. I'm so at a loss of what to say I can apparently only form three-letter-words.

"One day when I came home, having been bullied the whole day as usual, my father was expecting me. My mom was still at work and my sisters at school. I had to come home early because one of the guys on the football team had given me two black eyes so I could barely see. The principle had to call me parents, and just me luck, he called Troy. So I came home and there he stood. In the living room ready to yell at me for hours straight. But just as I thought that was enough, that ruining my eardrums had amused him enough, he did something I can never forget and never forgive him for.

He raped me."

"No." I can't help the word escaping my mouth. I feel tears well in my eyes and my lips start shaking. This is not fair. This can't be real life for an actual human being. One as kind and genuinely amazing as Louis. I swear to God, if I ever see that man it will not be pretty.

"The man that had just screamed in my ear how disgusting and wrong I was for being gay raped me. He tied my hands together on my back against my screams of protest and he raped my right there and then.

I've never told this to anyone. My mom doesn't even know, but she will. I've written a note for her explaining it. And Troy since I know you're listening to this, I hope she has gotten far, far away from you. You're a sick bastard and you deserve nothing more than to rot up in hell."

Louis had started to anger himself up and he was on the urge of tears and screams I could hear it in his voice. So I understood it when I heard the ending click of the tape.

Even though it's a bad thing to say, Louis was right. That is exactly what a man like Troy deserved after what he did to, not only another person, his own goddamn son of all people. Even thinking about it makes me cringe. That's so sick of a person to do.