47. Bombs on Monday

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It's been a week since Tae passed away and I started noticing how so much things Tae used to do like the laundry and by now all of our clothes were piled high in the laundry room and nobody even noticed. I sighed and decided to pick up where Tae left off , I started separating the clothes until I came upon his hoodie the very one he wore the week when I showed them all my new song. I looked at it longingly and threw it in the wash.

The more time I spent doing his daily chores the more I realized how I never payed attention to him. I was so focused on myself and my friends I didn't care about my family. Now where are those friends all doing their own things nothing giving a damn about m- no no no this isn't about you Ha-nuel I patted my cheeks telling myself to snap out of it. This wasn't their fault he died Tae was sick and just couldn't get better. I wasn't the only one who was sad I couldn't imagine how hard mom and dad were taking it. Having to lose their child for the second time and this time forever must be devastating. Our house was quiet no one spoke , no one smiled for a while, everything was just gloomy. Weeks had gone by and we all slowly started getting better.

Eating dinner together became a must and everyday we always left a place open for Tae out of respect and memory. As dad cooked I looked at mom who stared at Tae's seat tears welling up in her eyes as she reminisced about the child she lost. " Mom its okay" I told her holding her hand and she broke down crying. " We'll get through this for Tae" I told her and she nodded wiping her tears and I stood up to go check on Dad who was just aimlessly stirring the pot of stew until I stopped him and gave him a hug. "Ill take care of it dad just go sit" I told but to him hearing that made him breakdown and squeeze me "Please Ha-nuel stay here I can't lose you both please" he cried holding onto me for dear life . " How about we go visit Tae?" I suggested and they both hesitantly nodded. I bought his favorite flowers lisianthus. We all knelt at his grave and talked to him. " My sweet baby boy how I wish you were here" my mom touched the gravestone crying it seemed like she couldn't go on so my dad went next. " Ji-Tae I wish you knew how much I regretted not being their for your childhood you had to suffer all alone and still raised your sister to be a wonderful woman so I thank you for doing the things I couldn't and I miss you so much. " he said tears threatening to spill from his eyes as I set down the flowers. "I miss you big bro I never knew how much you used to do until you left and I wish you didn't have to do all that while you were in such pain. I'm really sorry you had to do so much or me and not once did you think about yourself, we came here for some closure and to see how you were doing but we really miss you." We all soon stood up to leave and I watched as the graveyard got smaller and smaller from the rear view mirror.

Over the last month we all worked towards getting better but what I didn't notice before was that we haven't seen Crystal at all ever since the funeral. Although I was worried I knew Crystal wouldn't do anything stupid. I continued on with life and soon Tae's death became a just a bad memory with fond feelings. I worked harder at school getting my grades up making up for lost classes and working towards my debut . I already knew that my first album would be dedicated to my life but my debut song would be something I had been working on since I came to this new city. As I was sitting in my room reading I heard a knock at my door and I saw it was mom telling me to come down for dinner I walked downstairs only to see Crystal and she looked like a mess; bags under her eyes, puffy eyes, and a red nose . " Hey " she awkwardly said I nodded knowing she probably wanted to go up to Tae's room so I moved out the way letting her go upstairs and went down to eat dinner. There was small talk here and there but not really a full conversation. Once I finished dinner I went out to the living room to watch some Tv only to hear knocking on the door. " Who is it now?" I groaned getting up to open the door only to see Gun leaning against the door frame . " Wanna go out for a ride princess ?" He asked " Gun you do know that it's almost midnight and I'm in pjs " I told him with a blank look on my face . " Come on I got something to show you " he dragged me to the car and I texted my mom that I went out . " So where we going ?" I asked him but he only smirked " You'll see when we get there" I rolled my eyes and leaned the car seat back to nap for a few minutes. " We're here " he said parking his car . When I sat up I opened the car door to be met with an area that hit me with tons of nostalgia. " This is where we first you carved that stupid message on the tree" I giggled and walked up to the tree tracing my finger against a old carving that said " Gangster and Gansterette " I still can't believe you actually wrote it though" I laughed taking a seat o the hood of his car watching the city down below. The tree was near a cliff that overlooked the whole city and it was our favorite hangout spot. " I came here to talk to you about Tae" he leaned against the railing over the cliff and I sighed "I'm really gonna miss that blockhead" Gun said smirking while I held in the tears. "Yeah" I said my voice cracked slightly as he came over and hugged me. "Don't worry squirt I'll be here for you and so will your parents" he ruffled my hair and I giggled as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder as he watched the outlook of the city. "I'm thinking of becoming a singer what do you think?" I asked him but he just shrugged "I mean you have a great voice and have a lot to say but at the same time I don't want the same thing that happened to Aru to happen to you." I nodded and smiled " Well I'm going to be debuting soon and I want you to be there since most of my friends probably forgot about me by now." I scratched behind my ear nervously at the thought. "Sure I'll come wouldn't miss it for the world princess now let's get you back home before your dad has my head on a platter" he joked and I nudged him playfully going back to sit in the car. It was moments like this I enjoyed with him nothing sexual or him competing for my heart just us enjoying each other's company.
Gun drove me home and I hugged him goodbye before leaving.

I woke up the next morning and just got ready for the day putting on a jacket and some satin shorts going down to the studio. " Hey Ha-nuel you ready for today" one of my fellow trainees greeted me and I nodded going into the sound booth recording my songs, practicing breathing exercises, and getting ready for my debut. "So Ha-Nuel go freshen up and we'll do your before debut interview." I nodded and walked off to get ready.

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