Adopted by One Direction

Please Understand

They were leaving me. That was the only though going on in my mind. All the times they said they loved me, it was all an act, wasn't it? If they really loved me, they wouldn't leave me, alone in the world. Angry tears sprung up into my eyes. Why did no one ever want me in the world? They were the first people to love and care for me, but now they don't want me anymore. How could I survive if they left? I just couldn't live. Now that I had experienced love, I couldn't live without it. Despair flooded through me. why did all the bad stuff happen to me? Something Harry had said to me the night before rang inside my head. I promise we're going to protect you from now on.

They were all lies. How would they protect me if they're leaving me? In fact, it would be better if they never adopted me in the first place. Why give me all the best stuff in life then throw it away two months later? It would hurt me even more. I didn't know what my emotions were. Angry? Sad? They were all mixed up together. Liam.  I could still remember my first night here. I had a nightmare about my dad, and he comforted me. he wouldn't let anyone hurt me. But he was the one hurting me now. Harry. He was always so loving, so kind. We had some misunderstanding before, but he said he wouldn't ever hurt me. But now? He had already hurt me beyond understanding. Niall. Always so sweet and cheerful. But even he was going with the flow.

Doesn't he still want me? Doesn't he know I need them now more than ever? Louis. He has never failed to make me laugh. Now, he was just bringing tears to my eyes. Zayn. The caring one. We understood each other pretty well. Didn't he see how they were hurting me right now? There was no point in living now. I would probably go back to the dreaded orphanage. Once there, it'd be so much easier for my uncle to track me down. For the first time in my life, I had suicidal thoughts. No one loved me, no one cared. They probably wouldn't care if I died right now. They still have their fame and money. Life would go on like usual for them. Tears of anger streamed down my face. How could they? How could they just leave me, just like that? Didn't they enjoy their time with me the past two months? Didn't they have any pity or compassion?

They knew, I could tell. They knew I couldn't go on without them. But yet, Liam said I had to go. Why did they have to ruin my life, right when it started to get better? A sudden feeling of hatred filled my heart, yet the thought of life without the boys was unbearable. My mind was swirling with thoughts. I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to end my life, now and then. In a split second, I jumped up and ran up the stairs. I was trying to run away from the thoughts that were crushing me. It had to be a nightmare, it couldn't be true. I needed to get away from it all. Suddenly, two arms from behind me wrapped around my stomach. I struggled, but they held on tight. Finally, I gave up, and let the arms pick me up. I was brought into the living room and sat down on the sofa. I took a deep breath and looked at the five pairs of eyes that were staring at me. Those familiar eyes seemed to calm me down a bit. All my emotions faded away and I was left feeling exhausted. I leaned back on the sofa, not knowing what to do.

"At last, I looked up and said the word which explained everything yet asked for explanations. "Why?" "Did you hear everything we said?" Liam asked softly. I nodded. 'I'm sorry that we didn't tell you later and kept you hanging." Zayn said, "We needed to be sure before we could tell you." My last hope was dashed. Zayn confirmed that what I heard was true. "So, you're leaving me?" I asked quietly, unable to look them in the eye anymore. "It's not like that, Passion." Harry said. "I understand, OK?" I burst out angrily, standing up sharply. "Send me back to the orphanage if you don't want me! Don't try to apologize for something you're not sorry about! I'm sick of all your lies!" I started of towards the door, but Louis forced me to sit back down. "Listen!" Louis said fiercely. I cowered back, scared. "We're not sending you back to the orphanage! Of course we won't do that!" "...What?" I asked, confused.

"We're not giving you back to the orphanage," Liam explained slowly. "We're just going to...let you go somewhere for a while." "What are you talking about?" I did not understand. If I wasn't going to the orphanage, then where was I going? "We'd better explain this clearly." Harry said. The other boys nodded. Harry cleared his throat and started. "So, you know that you've been spotted with us more than a few times now." "Yeah." I said tiredly. Of course I knew. "And I don't know if you've heard or not, but on the twenty third of November two thousand and thirteen (Sorry guys), there will be a 1D Day." Niall continued. "There's a lot of preparation that needs to be done. So we're going to be a bit busy."