Ugly

Secret Admirer

Namjoon's P.O.V
I can't concentrate. My thoughts are a jumbled collage of (Y/N). We're at dance practice and she's watching with Jungkook and Jade. I need a distraction so I grab Jade and pull her on to the dance floor and play Fire. I watch her dance with passion alongside us. This distracts me from (Y/N), as I watch her glide effortlessly across the floor to the music. I can still feel her eyes on me though. God what is wrong with me? "You've got something on your mind Namjoon. I can tell. What's wrong?" Jin says to me when we finish practice. I sigh. How could I tell him I've fallen for (Y/N)? "I'm just still worried about Jungkook." I lied. I know that he's fine and he just needs time to heal properly but it was the only excuse I could use.
"You're lying Joonie I know you are. You haven't stopped looking at (Y/N) all day. Is it her?" He's persistent. I nod hanging my head in shame. "Namjoon, it's ok and I won't tell anyone. Promise." I lift my head and give him a small smile as Jade and (Y/N) pass. My face instantly heats up and Jin laughs. I playfully hit him as we walk out of the building, Jungkook falling into step next to me. We head back to the dorm and I help Jin make some food as Yoongi is asleep. Im not sure where Jungkook is but he's not with Jade. Yoongi didn't even have the energy to go to his room so he collapses on the sofa in a heap. I pick him up and take him to his and Jin's room, placing him gently on the bed as to not wake him. I think he might be getting sick.

Tae's P.O.V
Just as I'm leaving mine and Jimin's  room I hear sniffling coming from the bathroom, so I head towards the door and peek inside. What I saw broke my heart. Jimin was sitting on the floor crying with a razor blade in his hand and blood spilling from his arms. I rush in and grab a towel not knowing what to do. I put pressure on the wounds as I hear Jimin mumble "Let me die Tae. I don't belong here, I don't deserve you. You don't need me dragging you down. I want to die Tae, please just let me." This was attempted suicide! I start crying as I hold Jimin in my arms being careful not to take pressure off the wounds. He's really pale and its scaring me. I shout for anyone and they all come running to the bathroom. Jin's heart basically snapped as he saw what Jimin had done as did mine (And mine. Not sure why I'm doing this to everyone. I'm sorry.)Where did he get a razor blade from? This worried me. If he could get his hands on a razor blade what else could he get? I kiss his lips, they are still as soft as the day I first kissed them. He kisses me back with every ounce of love that he has. I feel how much he loves me and it hurts to see that he tried to take his own life. I love him with all of my being and I hope he still feels the same way. I couldn't bear to lose him. Not now. Not after we've been through so much together. "I love you chimchim." I whisper in his ear and he smiles back at me as we stand up gently. "I love you too Tae Tae. More than you know." I smile but that thought still lingered in my mind. "Jimin, where did you get the razor blade?" I ask gently and his face drops. "Tae Tae I'm sorry." He says bursting into floods of tears. I just take his hand and pull him through the crowd of people at the bathroom door and into our room. There I comfort him until he calms down. "I bought it Tae. I'm sorry I did this to you. I'm just so messed up in the head right now and -" I cut him off with my lips. "Hyung it's ok. It's ok to accept that you need help. I'm always here for you. Please tell me when you feel like this. I want to help you." I say stressing my point to him and he nods burying his head in my chest as Jin peeks in and asks if we are alright. I nod and he smiles as he leaves. "Do you want some food Jimin?" I ask softly and I hear a mumbled yes from my chest.  I text Namjoon and he appears in a matter of seconds. "What can I do for you?" He asks and I smile while cuddling Jimin. "Is Jin making food?" He nods then looks at Jimin with a worried expression. "He's alright now don't worry." I say and Namjoon nods leaving the room.

(Y/N)'s P.O.V
I walk past Namjoon towards the kitchen when he grabs my hand and pulls me into his room closing the door behind him. My heart starts racing. What's happening?! My question was answered when I was pinned against the wall by Namjoon. "N-Namjoon, wh-what a-are yo-you d-doing?" God damn these nerves! He's looking into my eyes holding my chin up which forces me to look into his eyes. They're beautiful. He replies with one word. "This." His lips press lightly onto mine in a beautiful but passionate kiss. I kiss him back after a few moments and the kiss lasts only a few seconds more. "Sorry, I don't know what came over me." He says and sits on his bed. I sit next to him and place my hand on his. He looks up into my eyes with a confused expression on his face. "I've known you like me for a while now Namjoon. It was obvious plus you kept looking at me today at dance practice then you kissed me." I say and his expression changes he looks worried. "Namjoon, don't panic because I like you too." I say and he smiles and kisses me again softer than last time and I kiss him back. It's a short but sweet kiss. Or so I thought. He bites my lower lip gently asking for entrance which I gladly give. Our tongues dance and tangle together as our mouths move as one. His arms are holding my waist and my arms are wrapped around his neck loosely. This is the best feeling. He breaks the kiss. "Do you want me to help you with dancing?" He asks and my face goes red from embarrassment. I nod shyly and he takes my hand, leading me out of his room and towards the living room. "We're heading to the dance studio. We'll see you later. As Namjoon says this Jade and Jungkook jump up off the sofa and grab their shoes. "We're coming too! Cause we want to help." Jade says enthusiastically and I smile. Then Jin finished making food. Everyone wants to come along. Jin takes the food with us. I'm glad everyone is coming because I don't think I could cope dancing with Namjoon. It wouldn't end with dancing that's for sure. I sit in the back with Jade, Jungkook, Namjoon, Tae, Jimin and J-hope while Yoongi and Jin sit in the front. I have Jade next to me and Jimin, Tae and Namjoon were sitting behind us so I have time to tell Jade what's happened. Jungkook is sitting next to Jade (who is in the middle). "Jade, I kissed Namjoon. I'm kinda glad that you and the others came along because nothing can happen while you're all there." I whisper to her and she smiles and hugs me. "Aww that's amazing and so sweet. I'm assuming that's why he said he's taking you to the dance studio then?" I nod feeling my face heat up as he glances at me. "Well he asked me if I wanted him to help me with my dancing and I said yes." I say and she nods smiling. "Well I said to you that I'd help you as well." Jade says then Jungkook turns to face me smiling his adorable smile. "Me too. I want to help you." I smile but shake my head. "Jungkook you're not allowed to dance yet are you?." He pouts and Jade almost dies. She finds his pout adorable and irresistible. "I know but I can still help. Jade and Namjoon can do the actual dancing and I can watch and give feedback as well as pointers. Couldn't I?" He asks cutely and we all nod. "Yes kookie you can. Just please don't exhaust yourself and keep hydrated Ok?" Jade says softly and he nods showing his bunny smile. When we arrive I start to feel nervous and I don't know why. "Hey, it'll be fine. You're going to be fine. Trust me." Jade says and I start believing her. "So what song do you want to dance to?" Yoongi asks and I shrug. Hmm I'm not sure. I like so many of their songs. Mic drop, idol, blood sweat and tears, not today. All of those. "How about Not today or Mic Drop?" Jungkook asks smiling and I nod. Yoongi selects Not today.