pick me. kim yohan

45 | narration

to my youth - bol4

at some point, i wish to disappear from this world

the whole world seemed so dark and i cried every night

will i feel better if i just disappeared?

arin's playlist is on shuffle and the song that suddenly played in her earphones made her smile. what a coincidence, the song was sang in produce x 101 and right now, she's going to the venue of that show.

it was a bright day. the hem of her blue sundress dances with the breeze as she walks in the pavement towards the meeting place.

walking beside her was her cousin who she share filipino blood with, kim minyoung. international name: alyana. unlike arin who grew up in korea, minyoung grew up in the philippines. the two of them only see eachother when arin and her mom visit the philippines from time to time, they can only chat in telegram, but a few years ago, minyoung's dad finally got a job in korea so her family had to move there and the cousins are finally together.

five minutes before 9:00 am, they arrived at the meeting place - the cafe near the venue, and waited for somi there.

"i cant believe we're really going to watch the concept evaluation! and wait, there's more, we're with the first center of produce 101!" minyoung exclaimed as she sips on her milktea.

"yeah, me too." arin has a smile on her face.

a little while later, they were approached by a girl, she wore a black hoodie over gray cargo pants, her hair was on a messy bun and she had a mask on her face. it's the first final center of produce 101 - jeon somi. looking beautiful as ever, even with the disguise.

"arin eonnieee!" she jumped to hug arin, in which the latter just giggled about.

somi noticed minyoung who couldnt believe her eyes at the moment, and she greeted her with a smile. arin introduced the both of them to eachother, and before they knew it, the three of them are already fangirling together as if the three of them didnt met in person for the first time that day.

there's still an hour left before the filming of the concept evaluation starts but the three of them left the café already to head to the venue.

the word 'crowded' wasnt even enough to describe what they saw when they arrive in the venue. lots of people, holding different banners, and pictures and letters of their picks swarm around the area. there were barticades to hold the people and there is also a large backdrop that says 'PRODUCE X 101' in front of it was a blue carpet.

a little while later, cars started arriving. batch by batch, the trainees arrive and presented themselves in the blue carpet. they interacted with fans before they enter the venue for the final rehearsal.

yohan came with the middle batch. he stayed in the car for a while before getting out. and man, when he get out, he looked like a prince coming out from the car to make south korea bow down before him.

arin smiled as she watched him from afar.

she's happy for him. this is his dream. and she felt proud seeing that the guy she shared crayons with way back at kindergarten, was receiving so much love because that's what he deserves.

the blue carpet passed by like a blur. the trainees are all inside for the final rehearsal and the fans are supposed to enter the venue later.

the three had a great time collecting freebies from fellow fans, and receiving food from the food truck that's sponsored by the trainees' fanbases, before they decided to enter the backdoor of venue.

unlike other fans who had to fall in line to enter, as much as arin likes equality, they had somi who has special access so they enterred the venue as soon as they could.

they found themselves in the side of the stage, a part that's not seen from the audience but has a great view in the stage. that's the perfect place for them.

51 minutes til the start of concept evaluation. the stage is now empty. the rehearsals just finished and the three are already seated. they kill time by talking to eachother. their personalities clicked a lot so a lot of stories were told. 

they were in deep conversation about wanna one when people started entering the venue. until the place was fully packed with produce x 101 fans.

and then the lights went on.

"it's starting!" minyoung and somi said almost at the same time.

screams and screeches were heard when lee dongwook appeared in the stage. he started talking about things, about trainees, and the votings, until he said "it's showtime!"

right then and there, arin thought she's in a dream - a dream where she doesnt want to wake up anymore.

watching the trainees that she used to see in the tv perform in front of her felt euphoric. it brings back memories of the first time she attended a bts and wanna one concert. that's how it felt.

but watching the people who she talks to in chats perform in front of her made her feel proud. she knew them by heart and talked to them about how much she loves them.

meanwhile, their reaction?

minkyu was wide-eyed when he first saw them. dohyun followed minkyu's gaze and ended up running to them and having a high-five with somi and arin. they introduced minyoung too.

yuvin on the other hand saw them as he was going out of the stage, they shared the common hi's and hello's, and yuvin was even the one who introduced himself to minyoung.

dongpyo and hyeongjun? they hugged them. even minyoung. hug first before introducing yourself.

and then the u got it team. junho was the first one who saw them, he smiled at them. eunsang saw them and waved his hand, charming his newly dyed (again) red hair. (i pray for his scalp)

meanwhile, wooseok only stared. somi had to stand up and wave her hand highly to him. and that made wooseok smile. finally.

arin waited for yohan to look in their direction. he kept on looking around everywhere in the stadium, his eyes sparkling as he saw his banners until his eyes found hers. he was wide-eyed as he didnt expect her to be there. arin smiled the best she could, in hopes to cheer him up with her smile.

and it did.

yohan was amazing. he performed as great as ever. he himself and his presence are undeniably attractive, and arin felt her heart falling in every minute as he performs. she was holding her breath the whole time. especially now that she's seeing him in person, no screens barred.

she looks and listens to him in wonder.

this is the guy i fell in love with.

the guy who was always with me since i cant even remember.

the guy who made me look forward mornings and nights.

the guy who made me feel special in every way he could.

the guy who got my back no matter what.

the guy who made me believe in love again.

the guy who i'll love til the last of my breath.

we may not be together now, and the timing especially sucks, but i know, i'll wait for that guy.

that guy is kim yohan.

and he's dazzling now.

he is loved.

that's what he deserves and more than that.

//

a/n: writing this narration drained me hahahah hope u like it even though it is horrible, BUT HERE YA GOO, UPDATE BECAUSE YOHAN RANKED 1 AND I CANT MOVE ON FROM THE U GOT IT TEAM, LET'S ALL SUFFER (move team was great too! ssg deserves better :(( ippeo ippeo was addicting and MonToSun was a boppp, im so proud of minkyu)