pick me. kim yohan

136

lil bitches + a, s & m
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y_haa.n
i found her
seen by everyone except a_riin

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she didnt turn around.

so yohan just went in front of her. he knelt in the sand, and held her face. she has tears brimming down her cheeks, the wind was messing up her hair, she was a mess, but to his eyes she's still beautiful. a beautiful mess.

"what happened?"

she just stared at him. tears were flowing, but her face remained emotionless. it hurted yohan to see her like this.

she needed fixing.

he wants to fix her.

but he dont know what to do.

"arin-ah." he called. he leaned in, grabbed her head gently and kissed her forehead. it lasted for five seconds before he moved away, and by then, she started sobbing.

"yohan..." she said in between uncontrolable sobbing. more tears flow down.

he embraced her. between his arms is where she belongs.

"what happened, arinie?"

"i... i shouldnt be here. my existence is just a mistake. im a mistake, yohan."

"no. what are you saying?"

"i met with hana earlier today. and you know what she told me? she told me we're sisters. we're freaking sisters after all this time!" arin laughed bitterly.

yohan didnt know how to react.

"she was dad's daughter. she was just a few months older than i am, so does that mean, all my life, dad had only been fucking over? i dont even think i should call him dad anymore. because those years that i believe that i have a family? all of it were just lies. he, mom and i were never a family to him, we arent the first family to be begin with. i was a fool to believe that we even have any right. hana, her mom, her siblings and that man, that was the real and legal family. and i ruined it. i was just my parent's mistake, i wasnt supposed to exist, my existence destroyed hana's family. maybe that's why hana hated me so much. i cant blame her. i'd hate me too." arin kept going on and on, she poured the hurt she felt in every word.

"but you know what hurts the most? it's this feeling. it's like i dont want to believe in love anymore. because if it's that strong and great, why does this need to happen? why would you commit if you would just break it? why does families need to be broken? why do mistakes like me have to exist and suffer? how can that man throw everything as if it's just nothing? is it that hard to stay? maybe love was really just nothing. if that's love, i dont want it." she added.

"maybe love isn't real." she turned to yohan, "maybe your love isnt real too. maybe you were just used to by the fact that we grew up together that's why you want to take care of me. there's no such thing as love. because love is not true, it's all fake."

yohan smiled bitterly.

he wanted to understand her, but her words stabbed him like daggers. at that moment, he didnt know himself if love is really true. he's not sure anymore if what he feels for arin is love.

his mind is in chaos.

but he listened to the words of his heart

i love you arinie.

wont you believe that too?

wont you want that too?

he looked at her, her eyes are already puffy from all the crying but tears still kept on falling, she kept on heaving for air, and her eyes displayed a different hue of emptiness.