Growing Up Chemical

"We are going to be happy together."

I got out of the house as fast as possible. I hugged Ray goodbye, grabbed Mikey and us three were out the door. Why did this goodbye make me sad? Why did it feel like it was forever? Frank said he loved me. He'd always be my brother, no matter what. I hoped he hadn't made exceptions on his own terms....

I took my keys out of my back pocket. Unlocking the door was nothing new, but walking in to the lifeless house felt different. I told the boys they could look around. Mikey went and sat by my bass, and Gerard came with me.

I walked in and climed up to my bed. I sighed at the picture I never finished drawing. It was of Gerard. It seemed like so long ago when I saw him. Really it was only a few days, but being with him and being in his bubble made time freeze.

I glanced over to him just waiting in my doorway. "You can come in you know."

"I thought so. I just don't want to ruin everything. Your room is so perfect." I looked around as he slowly crept in. I always thought it was special, but it was my room. I slid over so Gerard could come sit with me. "Are these your drawings?" He picked up my sketch pad and i looked down. Then I looked back up to him. His eyes focused intensely on my art. He acted as if I had drawn the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. "Who's eyes are these?"

"They're my dads.....inside is supposed to be me when I was little." He smiled and flipped the page.

Finally he set the pad down and just sat his head against the wall. I moved closer to him and layed my head on his shoulder. I listened to his breathing and a few thoughts came to mind. What if Gerard liked me? What if he didn't? What if he thought I liked him? Then an even bigger question came into mind. Did I like him?

I smiled to myself. I did like him. What wasn't to like? He had beautiful features. From his perfect eyes, to his shy smile. And the way his hair covered his eyes. Then there was his amazing personality. He was sweet and loving. He had a great taste in music. He made me feel like I wasn't a mess up. A mistake that should've been deleted a long time ago. He made feel wanted.

"Gerard, can I ask you something now?"

"Yes you can. If it has to do with unicorns though, ask Mikey." We laughed and I felt the rumbling in his chest. "Why do you care so much about me.?"

"Why wouldn't I care so much about you?"

"Im a loser. Frank and Ray are the only people who would be seen around me. I get called names and got beat up. I'm not the perfect person that all guys are looking for."

"I'm not all guys then am I?" He smiled and so did I. I was happy, estatic, to hear him say that. He was different, that was obvious. But he was proud of it to.

I wrapped my arms around his torso and burried my face in his stomach. "Never leave me Gerard Way. You hear me?" He hugged me tighter for a moment. "Wouldn't dream of it." I wanted to fall asleep, right there in his arms. I sat up to where his arms were still around me, but I could sit up to see his face. "I guess I had better get packing?" He laughed and let go of me. I jumped off my bed, Gerard behind me.

I grabbed my Tommy Hilfigure duffle bag and grabbed my favorite clothes. There was my oversized Paramore sweater, my dads sweatshirt, my Greenday, Blink-182, Coldplay, NeverShoutNever, The Used, and a few other band shirts. Then I had a bunch of jeans and I grabbed 3 pairs of converse. I got my drawing stuff together, my special fuzzy wolf blanket, a pillow, all my music crap, and we walked down to get Mikey.

"Mikes, let's go. Are you ready?" He nodded and stood up. Mikey took one last look at the glittering black bass, and walked out. "Oh shoot! Let me go grab one last thing!" I dropped my stuff and ran back to my room. I had a hidden stash of money incase I ever got the courage to run away. I stuck it in my pocket and ran back down stairs. "Well, let's get moving." I picked my stuff back up and we started on our way.