First, Us. - ATEEZ Seonghwa Fanfiction

4.

"So, what do you want to talk to me about?" Seonghwa turns around and looks at me as I shut the back door to the club just enough so we can still get back in. There's a little patio out here but I don't know if we are allowed to come here without permission. I just know I'm too upset to care.

"One day, Seonghwa. It's been a day! This is the first day that we have known about each other's existence! You can't just babysit me while I interact with other people!" I yell way too loud. We're the only two out here thank God. If anyone else was here I would be too shy. He looks confused as to why I would be so mad. "Have you ever had a girlfriend?" I bring my volume down, walking closer to him but keeping at least a foot of space between us.

"Yeah, one." He laughs, holding on to his elbow with his other hand, looking down at the ground like he was embarrassed. "Her name was Chaehoon. It was right after we had debuted as a group. She worked within my company as a translator and teacher and we had saw each other multiple times every day. She was from California, so she taught me English and I helped her with her Korean. One day we were alone, and we kissed. Then we decided to become a couple, but she knew the company rules like I did, and we knew it had to be top secret. So we hung out whenever I would have another English lesson or when we had down time. This went on for a year and a half. Then we were caught by a janitor, and she was fired. I had already debuted so they couldn't punish me like that, but they made me break up with her that day and I haven't seen her since." He looked anywhere but at me, and I had my eyes glued on him the entire time.

I couldn't imagine living a life like that, so alone. I'm not a fan of my past relationships but I would've been humiliated to have to break up with them in front of people. I don't say anything in response, I wasn't expecting that.

"I have stayed far away from relationships since. I don't even come in contact with women anymore. The guys do, like at hotels. But I don't because I can't have that heartbreak again. When I met you, Toby, I fell hard for you. Right there in that hallway. I swore to myself after you walked away from me that I could let go of those feelings and never see you again. Then I did see you again, and then again in the jacuzzi. Every second that I could look at you, I did. You're beautiful in every way that a woman can be beautiful. I may not know you, but I want to. I wanna keep looking at your face, and into your eyes. I wanna watch you blush when I kiss your hand, I wanna hear you talk about yourself every day. And learn more about you as time goes on." His words sting but feel so good to hear. My heart is racing but is so still at the same time. I can't believe he's saying these words to me. He slowly closes in on the space between us, wrapping one arm around my waist, letting his other hand cup my cheek while he gives me his famous teasing look. "But more than anything right now, I want to kiss you."

Before I can overthink this moment, I lean up and press my lips against his. I'm done fighting this anymore. I don't know why this feels so right, but it does. The way his soft plump lips move against mine is so magical. My eyes are squeezed shut, wanting to take in every detail I can from this kiss. Both of his arms now hold my body tight against his, soft moans escaping both of our lips. My fingers find their way into his hair, only playing with the short hairs on the back of his head since I know he actually went out of his way to style the rest of it. He grips onto both of my hips and pushes me down away from his lips, breaking the kiss.

The look in his eyes isn't intense anymore, it's soft and adoring. I can't look away from him even if I wanted to. Why did he stop kissing me?

"Why did you stop kissing me?" I speak my thoughts allowed, resting my arms on his broad shoulders. His brings a hand up and runs it across my lips, thank goodness I didn't put lipstick on.

"Why did you fight this for so long? I know you can feel everything I do, but you denied it, or ignored it. Why?" Great, now I have to pull the logic card again after everything he just said.