My Brothers Friend || Zach Herron

What's Best

We found out that Zach was staying at his mom's back home, his mom called me the day after the ask if everything was ok. We had a very heartfelt conversation. it's been a week since he left, since the text, since everything went up in flames.
***
These few days have been hard, I still couldn't believe that Zach left me like that, in my time I needed him most. But I still had Jonah and Corbyn, the other boys still didn't know completely what has been going on. They know that I had been going through some stuff that resulted in the self harm that was in the photo, they were fine without the details cause they understood and just wanted me to be happy. unfortunately some other people have noticed and have been talking about it online and in magazines.
I have slowed the cutting, I havnt completely stopped like Corbyn wanted but it wasn't as often as it was before, baby steps I guess.
And I know that Zach loves me and I love him but what he did wasn't right and I don't know what to think, he said that space was what was best for us and yet he was wrong, I needed someone there for me and he wasn't.
Wasn't he the one that did anything for Bethany? Like drop everything and bring her food whenever she wanted? Constantly show his love for her no matter our protest? He was always trying so hard to be a great boyfriend, where was that guy now? Why wasn't he trying that hard with me?
***
"I don't care, you need to get your ass back here and help your girlfriend" I heard Corbyn whisper yell at some one I assumed was Zach
"Corbyn?" I pushed open the door to his room open a little more to see he was on the phone
"Just do as I say" he shouted and slammed his phone down on his bed, when he saw me
"Was that zach?" I hadn't been able to get in touch with him since he left. Other then the text and one or two phone calls to let me know we were ok and to not worry, yeah, right he felt the need to call me to let me know we were ok, not to check on me to see if I was ok. Then tells me not to worry, something didn't feel right .
"Um, yeah it was but don't worry everything is fine, I was just telling him that he should come back and that we all miss him" Corbyn walked over to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
"Oh ok" just like before, I act like everything is ok and that's what they believe.
We walked downstairs for lunch, we walked in on Daniel sitting on the counter eating watermelon out of a bowl and Jonah and jack fighting over whether or not hotdogs were sandwichs.
"A sandwich is two pieces of bread with a filling in the middle!" Jack yelled "how does hotdogs not fall in that category!"
"Because hotdogs are on a bun, that is a one piece of bread!"
"And if it breaks, does that make it a sandwich then!?" Jack had a point.
"Do they sell hotdogs at sandwich shops? No!" Jonah also had a point.
"But they have meatball subs, it's the same things just in ball form not hotdog form!" Jack was getting really Into this.
"What's happening?" I whispered to Daniel as I took a spoon and sat next to him.
"Hotdogs, sandwich's or not?" Daniel said like it was normal.
"Ahh makes sense" I just giggled, ate watermelon and watched the boys argue.
It's the little things in life.
***
I was watching Riverdale and trying not to cry as Archie broke up with veronica. I heard the front door open and as I turned my head, I saw a who I have wanted to be with for days, but also the guy who left without much explanation.
"Baby?" I mumbled and slowly stood up.
"I'm so so sorry y/n" he looked me dead in the eye.
I ran over and gave him a hug "I love you" but just for a moment before anger came over me and I pulled back and slapped his chest as tears spilled from my eyes
"Hey hey hey" he grabbed my hands and hugged me again, I just cried
"I hate you, why? How could you" I stuttered through my tears.
"I know" he stroked my hair "I know" I could hear him choke on his words as he started to cry.
"Zach!" I heard Corbyn say from the top of the stairs. "You got a lot of nerve bro"
I didn't move, I just stayed in the confusing grip of Zach, it was both comforting and infuriating, I wanted both to kiss him and keep hitting him.
"I know man but I did what ya said, I came back, for y/n" he kissed my head and rubbed my back I both smiled and cringed and I didn't know what to do.
"You shouldn't have left in the first place" he walked up to Zach with fury in his eyes "You should have come back the first time she asked, not a week and many angry phone calls later" I felt Zach drop his arms and turn to Corbyn
"Bro I said sorry" Zach said through his teeth. Corbyn turned to me and gave a small smile.
"Y/n please go to your room" I just smiled back and walked away I could still feel Zach arms on my back, I still couldn't decide what I wanted.

Zachs pov

I watched y/n walk up the stairs, the most hurt I have seen her. And I played a part in it.
"Bro what the hell, I told you that if you hurt her, I would hurt you" his fist's curl
"This hurt me as much as it hurt her" he just laughed it off "I didn't know any of this, this has been going ok for a while and she didn't tell me anything" I was getting angry all over again
"She didn't tell anyone so you can't just run of to a complete different state when y/n needed you!" He was raising his voice now
"I needed her to be honest with me. That's how relationships work Corbyn, communication and honesty"
"Its also about being there for each other, not running away when something goes wrong!!" He was full blown yelling, doesn't he understand that what she did hurt more then you would think. Why wouldn't she talk to me about this, we were a team, not people who keep things from each other, I thought we were in this together.
"Why don't you stop acting like you know everything just because of how long you and your stupid girl friend have lasted" I knew the minute I said it that I shouldn't have mentioned Cristina.
Corbyn got really close to my face "watch your mouth bud before I kick your ass"
"Corbyn back off!" jack yelled from the bottom of the stairs.
I pushed past Corbyn and ran to y/n's room, not caring about Corbyn at the moment.
I walked into her room and saw paint chips along the wall across from her bed, y/n was just sitting on her bed just staring at her phone. He phone was a lot more cracked then I remember it being.
"Babe?" I slowly walked over to her bed and sat across from her
"Don't" she whispered
"What?"
"Please don't call me that Zach" she looked into my eyes and I can tell she meant it.

Y/n's pov

I knew what I needed and that was space, just like he said.
"It really hurt when you left Zach, a lot more then any of the words those limelights doing all those things that started this. Zach you really hurt me." I was holding back tears. I have cried enough these few days and I'm done with it.
"Ok and I am so sorry about that y/n but it hurt me to, to see you hurting. To see that you didn't come and talk to me about it. We are a team y/n and you decided to take this on by yourself, that's not how it works y/n" hold the tears y/n, hold the tears "You and me, it's not just you. You. And. Me."
"Then why does it feel as though it's just you Zach. You have no clue how hard it was, watching you go out and have everyone love you, you have no one sending you messages calling you a slut, a dirty piece of shit, telling you to kill yourself. How am I supposed to tell you all that" I took a deep breath and a reassuring sigh "how do I tell you that the people who changed your life, the people you love most other then your family can be some of the meanest people. How do I ruin that for you."
"I get that y/n I really do, but it's over now  I'm here and we can get through this" Zach placed his hand on my knee and gave a weak smile
"Zach it's just like you said, I think we need some space" I avoided his eye so it would hurt even more then it already did.
"We already had space, can we move past that and start focusing on making sure your ok" he protested
"We missed that chance Zach, we both need time to clear our heads from this and refocus" I took another breath "by ourselves"
"This sounds like a break up y/n" Zach sounded like he was about to cry. It broke me inside, but he is the one that left, not me.
"just a break, I thinks it's what is best for us right now" I sighed and held back my tears
Zach stood up and slowly walked to the door "yeah if that's um what you uhh want or think then I will umm give you some uh space" Zach was gone and I just curled into a ball again, I have been in this position a lot lately huh?
I just started at my bed as Corbyn came in and just sat with me.
"I love you bean" I whispered
"I love you to cheezit" that was the end of the talking, we just sat there, in silence.