The Risks

September: Chapter 34

Her silence always seemed deafening.

Her expression was blank, unreadable as she sat behind her desk with her clasped hands resting atop the oak surface. Her eyes, so dark that I couldn't see her pupils. Not that I let my eyes rest on hers for long. There was something unsettling about them- the calmness in them. Like the tables were turned and she was the one waiting for me to speak. Waiting for me to atone, to crack under the pressure of her penetrative, all-knowing gaze. The acrid smell of Feral blood on our skin and soaked into our clothes didn't help. 

I'd been bouncing my knee nervously- something I wasn't acutely aware of until Parker placed a gentle hand over it to still the movement. I glanced at him, chewing on a thumb nail and he gave me a small, reassuring smile. 

Finally, finally Charlotte moved her gaze from Parker and I to Chris and Abby who stood behind us. 

"Can you confirm these accusations?" 

They must have nodded, because Charlotte closed her eyes and hummed quietly to herself.

"I could exile him," she suggested suddenly, her eyes opening to look at Parker and I for feedback.

"No," I answered quickly. My mind was quickly bombarded with the unwanted memory of Francis. He'd been banished from his group and look at the damage that had done. I didn't want that kind of blood on my hands. Innocent blood.

"What would you suggest then?"

"The safest option, quite frankly, would be execution," Parker stated calmly.

Finally a reaction from her. Her eyebrows shot up and she leaned back slightly in her chair. I could tell by her face alone that this was something we were going to have to fight her on. 

"Execution?" She repeated, her tone tinged with disbelief. "That's the best option?"

"I never said it was the best option, but it would be the safest."

"It's the only way to guarantee that he won't try to get anyone else killed," I added.

She considered this for a moment with a small sigh. "The members won't agree."

"They don't have to," I said. My voice almost sounded incredulous and I immediately decided I should tone it down a bit. Or at least try to. 

"The moment I make the decision on my own to kill one of our own for his mistakes is the day this no longer becomes a democracy."

"His mistakes?" I scoffed, feeling hot anger filling my chest. So much for trying to tone it down. "He was fully aware of what he was doing. You can't let him walk away with no repercussions. He deserves some kind of punishment-"

"Don't you think a gunshot to the arm is punishment enough?"

"No. I don't, quite honestly."

She grew quite once more, leveling her steady gaze with mine. My hands had begun to shake, my teeth ground together. I was suddenly pissed to realize that I had the urge to cry. I could have lost everything today and she was what? Wanting to just sweep this all under the rug? No. It wasn't right. 

"Chris, Abby, thank you. You may leave," Charlotte said, breaking the silence.

They did not linger.

"Look," I started, leaning forward and putting some real effort into speaking calmly, "Spencer has a problem with us -that's just fine- but he should have taken it up with us instead of bringing Chris and Abby into it. That bullet to his arm was generous. I should have killed him."