The Risks

March: Chapter 46

In the morning, we went to the concourse for breakfast. I'd been hesitant about it -not wanting to show my face and afraid that people would automatically know something was up with me- but we had appearances to uphold. And honestly, if we suddenly disappeared and started hiding out in our room, then people would definitely suspect something. So I had no choice but feign normalcy.

I ate my breakfast slowly in attempts to keep my stomach from getting upset, but unfortunately, I didn't think anything could prevent that from happening. Parker had finished his meal already and was chatting mildly with Lance and Xavier. They were telling him about their night at the Zone and then eventually asked why we hadn't stayed for drinks, to which Parker started to explain to them –a lot more vaguely than he'd explained to me- why he didn't drink.

Parker's voice tapered off suddenly, and I turned to him, curious as to why he'd stopped in the middle of his sentence, and followed his gaze to see Chris and-

And Hannah.

They were here. In the concourse. Walking toward us with their trays.

I choked on my food, coughing for a second before clearing my throat just as they were sitting down across from us. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, accentuating her thin face. She really was thinner now, and not just because she wasn't pregnant anymore –oh my god, I'm going to get fat. She had dark circles under her eyes, her gaze focused on tearing pieces of toast apart and- oh no. I'd been looking at her for too long, gaping at her like some idiot.

I dropped my eyes, then felt Parker put his hand over mine to pry my fingers from his leg. When had I grabbed onto his thigh? I couldn't remember.

"Sorry," I whispered to him and he responded with a soft smile as he laced his fingers through mine.

Parker and Chris started up a conversation in which Lance and Xavier joined in while I stared down at my plate. I tried to finish my breakfast, I really did, but my stomach was rolling uneasily, and I wasn't sure if it was from nerves or the morning sickness. Maybe one fueled the other. Who knew.

"Hi."

My eyes darted up. Surely she wasn't talking to me. But she was looking right at me, a small, polite smile on her face.

I swallowed hard. "Hi."

I fought the overwhelming desire to start apologizing profusely. Baby steps, Claire.

"I heard you and Parker are leaving tomorrow morning," she said conversationally. "To look for George Lyons?"

Word got around fast. "That's right," I answered, a cold sweat breaking out across my skin, a sudden tidal wave of nausea threatening to pull me away.

She took a bracing sort of breath. "You should know that... I don't hate you for what you did..."

Oh my god. It was finally happening. The progress, the forgiveness I'd been patiently awaiting for months. I began taking long breaths -in through my nose, out through my mouth- in attempts to counter the nausea, because I absolutely couldn't interrupt this moment. Who knew if it would ever come up again?

Hold it together. She's finally talking to you. Do not ruin this.

"I just-" Her eyes moved to my face and her brow suddenly furrowed. "Are you okay?"

Chris turned and looked at me with something close to alarm. "Hey, Claire, you don't look so good."

"Mm-" That was all I could manage before getting up, nearly tripping over the bench I'd been sitting on, and sprinting to the nearest trash can.