Screen Names.

2

Lefthand.smudge. I opened the message box once I woke up, solid 4:47 am. I hated that my body decided to wake up on its own alarm and own schedule, but at least I had some time to relax before the shitshow of family breakfast.

[Lefthand.smudge]:
saw your recent, gotta say that must suck. i felt that though, my parents fought a shit ton before they divorced. if you ever wanna text about it, im open for some family shit talk exchanges. im up at ungodly hours anyway.

I read it twice. It was weird to try to take it all in. I felt iffy on responding. Well, nothing lasts long solely over text, so it wasn't like I'll know this person, let alone get attached or close or anything. I liked my personal bubble. Sure... it got lonely a lot, but lonely was safer than grabbing onto people who didn't deserve my shit. I've learned.

[Yourenotas._.asyouthink]:
Hey. What time zone are you in

It took a while to get a reply. I didn't expect for it to be instant, but an irrational part of me wanted it to be. Maybe it was just me being an attention whore and wanting someone to... well, want me. Want to talk to me. Want to text me. That person didn't even read it and my mind spun into the left on read state.

[Lefthand.smudge]:
CDT. you?

[Yourenotas._.asyouthink]:
yeah,, same

I couldn't think on the spot what to say, so it took some type-and-delete to cough out a sentence or two.

[Yourenotas._.asyouthink]:
when did your parents divorce
im curious i guess

[Lefthand.smudge]:
like, nine or so years ago
not good with numbers
i don't really know the date they did

[Yourenotas._.asyouthink]:
how was it?
like,,, what happened

[Lefthand.smudge]:
like legally or what happened to my parents
or what happened to my mental state
that one's a good story too

[Yourenotas._.asyouthink]:
those all seem like stories i wanna hear
go for whichever you wanna tell first
i like hearing people being open and telling stories

[Lefthand.smudge]:
i have lots of stories.
legally, the custody battle kinda sucked. they were initially going in for split equal, then my dad decided to move away into a different house once the custody shit blew over. since we live in TX and he moved to CO, split basically was close to impossible bc i don't think i could go every other week between them
so my mom told me he lost, but once i was double digit my dad said i was old enough to be told that he gave up my custody to my mom. he said it was for the best, yadda yadda, and custody battles suck. there's a lawyer for each and even one to put words in kids' mouths over which side is safer

[Yourenotas._.asyouthink]:
so your dad just dropped the ball to your mom? you stay constant in TX?

[Lefthand.smudge]:
yup. Technically he still has partial legal custody, like he's an emergency contact with last priority and all and im allowed to visit and junk but he's remarried to this mega young girl and it's kinda uncomfy
like she looks like she could pass off as an older sibling
maybe younger if she's as good with makeup in person as she makes herself look on Facebook

[Yourenotas._.asyouthink]:
rational. so what happened with your family before? you said they fought a lot,, like i feel that dude

[Lefthand.smudge]:
yup. apparently my dad never said anything right and my mom was constantly holding a grudge. she coddled me and my dad didn't like that too much and ugh. sucked. he tried to win over my affection a couple times before giving up
what about your parents? what're they like?

[Yourenotas._.asyouthink]:
my dad treats me like a felon and my mom tries to defend me but like, that's pretty much impossible. my dad kinda undoes the affection shit and my mom overdoes it, so it's all just fake shiny shit for me to feel better about myself. it doesn't work.
they got into an argument bc my dad called me a disappointment and she got offended

[Lefthand.smudge]:
gross.
parents suck sometimes

[Yourenotas._.asyouthink]:
definitely suck sometimes man
or,,, woman?
man is unisex in my mind at this point

[Lefthand.smudge]:
pft
im a guy if that's what you were wondering right there

[Yourenotas._.asyouthink]:
lmao okay don't wanna offend you or smth
i say dude and man probably too much
clear this up and making the exchange of info even: same

[Lefthand.smudge]:
lol nice
my default is buddy
my family friend drilled it in my mind after calling me buddy and kiddo for like, five years

I almost threw my phone when someone knocked on my door. I was in my own little world online texting this kid. It almost felt like I had a friend. But that's probably not the case at all. This kid's probably just one of those text one day, ghost the next people.

"Connor, breakfast is ready," Zoe yelled from behind the door, which just got muffled. "Mom's gonna be pissed if you come down in pajamas so you better be ready for school!" That earned a solid eye roll.

"Yeah yeah, almost ready," I groaned and got out of my bed with a trudge. I didn't even bother changing my shirt, I had two others that looked exactly the same. All I really did was slide on jeans, put on extra deodorant and pulled on a different hoodie. I didn't even brush my hair or my teeth. Whenever I went to the bathroom in the morning I just ended up running my toothbrush under the faucet and fingercombing my hair. I grabbed my bag, huffed and went to the table to sit with my family.

Breakfast wouldn't make us bond, no matter how much my mom insisted it would. I thumped my head down and ignored the nagging that bounced from person to person. I opened my messages under the table.

[Yourenotas._.asyouthink]:
ive gotta head off to school soon once family breakfast is done so if you're not too busy, i might sneak some texts during my classes
or send shitposts randomly

[Lefthand.smudge]:
tbh im walking to school now lol
i can text during my free period. and probably latin if im brave

[Yourenotas._.asyouthink]:
solid. ill text you soon dude

[Lefthand.smudge]:
sounds good bud

I peaked up during a lull in a conversation, right before Zoe slapped my shoulder. "If you don't hurry, I'm leaving without you."

"Uh-huh," I scoffed, "I call bullshit."

"Language," Cynthia sighed while she picked up plates and handed Larry his lunch for work. I just ignored it.

"No balls," I mumbled to Zoe because I really did doubt her.

Zoe grabbed her keys and walked out, and I followed and made sure to take my sweet ol' time. I heard the car start and suddenly didn't doubt her anymore. "ZOE!" I rushed and grabbed my boots from the mud room on my way out. "FUCK YOU, UNLOCK THE DOOR!"
-

wassup
I remembered to change this A/N before publishing
Anyway
Let me know if this is good and continue-able