Hope Remains: A Hope Springs Fanfiction

Chapter 4

Ivy spoke of nothing but Grady the dog all the way home from church. Emma knew she longed for a pet, but she also knew her impulsive sister well enough to know that eventually she would tire of taking care of her pet and it would fall to Papa. Ivy had always been that way—flighty and uninhibited, but with a heart so big, Emma sometimes wondered how it could contain so much love for everyone she met. She had always envied that about her sister. What would it be like to go through life without hesitation, embracing everything that came fully and whole-heartedly? She had always struggled with feelings of inadequacy, especially after Mama had left. But Finbarr had always given her confidence, encouraged her, teased her, been there for her. She had tried to be there for him in the years since the fire, but more often than not, she felt rebuffed. After a while, it had hurt less to stop trying. They were on better terms than they'd been in a long time now, but their relationship lacked what it once had.

Maybe leaving for Baltimore would be best, she mused. At least for a little while.

But she had no plan, no idea of how to move forward in her life. If she were honest with herself, part of her had never wanted to move on in hopes that she and Finbarr would reconnect and everything would be all right. Now, however, she felt as though it was time to get moving again. The question was, if she didn't want to be Finbarr O'Connor's wife anymore, what did she want to be?

A memory stirred in the back of her mind of teaching Katie to read. Papa had said the ability to read was a gift. It had been amazing seeing Katie's world open up and feeling as though she had given her something priceless. It made her want to share that gift with others.

"A penny for your thoughts, sweetie," Katie's voice broke into her musings. She looked up to find her step-mother watching her closely, her warm brown eyes full of tender concern. Emma's bond with Katie had grown and strengthened so much since those rocky first few weeks of their relationship. She felt more like her mother than if she had actually given birth to Emma herself.

"I've just been thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my life," she shrugged, not certain she wanted to tell anyone about her idea about Baltimore yet. Until she settled more firmly on what she wanted, she didn't want to worry her parents unnecessarily. "I feel a little useless here."

Katie pressed her lips together in a pondering way. "Hmm...you're a great help with the wee ones. That's not useless."

Emma nodded, it was true enough. Her youngest half siblings were a handful and it was all Katie could do to keep everyone clothed and fed. Yet Emma knew Katie wouldn't have it any other way.

As if on cue, her brother, Sean, and her youngest sister, Eimear, ran past, chasing each other down the road.

"Children," Katie called, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "Don't be makin' mischief now, or the banshee will come and snatch you away."

Sean rolled his eyes, but little Eimear quieted, coming close to her mother's side and clinging to her hand. Eimear reminded Emma strongly of herself when she was younger, quiet and shy, watching everyone around her.

"Katie, can we go see Tavish's new horse?" Ivy called as they neared the turnoff for the Irish road. There were more and more people living down that way that weren't Irish these days, just like there were more and more Irish on the red road, but the monikers had stuck.

"Certainly you can," Katie nodded. "Just be home by supper time. And bring Finbarr with you. I saw the way he hesitated when your father invited him to dinner tonight."

Ivy nodded, her golden curls bouncing as she shepherded the two youngest in front of her toward Tavish's home. Emma fully suspected that most of the allure of going there was in Cecily's cookies, but she didn't comment.