Hope Remains: A Hope Springs Fanfiction

Chapter 5

Finbarr stared blankly into the darkness that was his world, feeling numb from his head down to his toes. His scars ached acutely as he remembered the night of the fire. Flames had licked at his feet as he had carried Marianne in his arms. Smoke had smothered him, threatening to suffocate him from the inside out. And in that chaos of smoke and fire was the fear, knowing he wasn't going to make it out of the burning barn in time. The structure had started to creak, and in moments, the walls gave way and the entire thing had started to fall. The last thing he had remembered was positioning Marianne in a way to protect her from the collapsing barn. In the end, it hadn't been enough. The barn had snapped the girl's neck and had stolen his eyesight.

He released a shuddering breath and rubbed his aching eyes, wishing they were as numb as the rest of him. His mind was numb. His body was numb. His heart...

Emma's confession had taken him completely off guard, and in the moment, he had panicked, and he still wondered if he had made a mistake. Sure, his own heart ached, but did he make the right decision?

Miss Emma Archer was a lady. A high-born lady with a wealthy father, and she could have anything life offered her. If she wanted the moon, her father could give it to her. How could Finbarr possibly justify taking everything away from her just so she could be the wife of a poor blind man?

Grady whined as if he could sense his down-spiraling emotions, and the dog tucked himself underneath his arm. Even in the summer, Wyoming nights were cold, and he didn't know how long he had sat in this barn staring into the pitch black nothingness. Grady's fur was warm, but even that wasn't enough to stop the chill from entering his bones.

Footsteps outside the barn alerted him to someone's presence, and although he knew he should have been on alert, he didn't have the heart. He didn't move a single muscle, but he took comfort in the fact that Grady's tail wagged excitedly.

It could only be one person.

"You dolt," Tavish muttered under his breath, and in moments, a thick blanket fell over Finbarr's shoulders. "Not only did you forget to milk the cow this mornin', but I went lookin' for you only to find your house empty. Do you realize how worried I was?"

He shook his head, his voice refusing to come.

Tavish must have knelt beside him, because in the next moment, he placed a hand against his forehead. "You're burnin' up, Finn," he said worriedly, tucking the blanket more firmly around him. "Have you been out here all night?"

He didn't answer, and that seemed to worry Tavish even more. He should have said something, anything, especially knowing it was Tavish's worst fear to lose anyone else he loved to a fever. But his heart hurt too much. His heartache took him back to the days of his year-long depression after he had been blinded. He didn't want to go back there ever again, but losing Emma hurt nearly as much.

If there was any way he could keep her, he would gladly go through losing his sight all over again. But keeping her was selfish. More than selfish.

"I'm getting Ma," Tavish said, a hint of worry leaking through his voice.

"Don't get Ma," Finbarr finally said, his voice raspy. "Just leave me here."

"You're an even bigger dolt than I realized if you think I'd leave you here. Come on. Get to your feet."

Tavish put an arm around his waist and heaved him to his feet. His joints felt stiff from sitting in the same position for hours at a time, his frigid muscles hardly obeying him as they started walking. He didn't know where they were going, only that breath hurt to draw into his lungs, and he felt both chilled and feverish at the same time. They ascended steps, and moments later, they entered a house that smelled of wheat. He immediately recognized it as his own house.