Hope Remains: A Hope Springs Fanfiction

Chapter 9

Waiting for Emma to return home was complete torture. Finbarr kept waiting for her to storm into his fields as he worked and slap him senseless. He kept an ear to the ground, waiting to hear about her return to Hope Springs, but his anxiety grew each moment she was gone. Not only was he worried for her safety, but he was worried about what her reaction might be to his letter.

He sighed, pushing thoughts of Emma away. The truth was he was more than frustrated with himself. If he had just told her the truth in the first place, she wouldn't have left Hope Springs on bad terms with him.

Tavish's oldest, Matthew, laughed joyously as he led him around on his horse. He had recently purchased a quality saddle, and now all the children in Hope Springs were lining up for a turn to ride it. Finbarr didn't know where Tavish found the time to entertain all these children when it was berry season, but he somehow managed it.

"Uncle Finbarr!" Matthew cried from a distance. "I'm riding the horse!"

"You're doing great!" Finbarr shouted, a smile on his face. He had no idea if it was the actual truth, but from how excited his nephew sounded, it seemed to be the case.

Footsteps approached him, and the person they belonged to didn't need to speak for Finbarr to know they belonged to Cecily. Though he was certain it was the cane scraping against the ground that gave her away.

"Briana and Matthew are having the time of their lives, aren't they?" Cecily said with amusement shining through her voice. "I don't know who's enjoying this more: the children or Tavish. He just loves being a father."

Although Cecily had confided in Finbarr about her struggles to get pregnant again after giving birth to Matthew, she hadn't told very many people other than him. He guarded the bit of information with his life.

"What is it like?" he asked, listening to the children laugh and squeal. "To be a mother to children you can't see?"

She sighed, a sound so sad it made his own heart ache. "It's awful, Finbarr. I won't lie to you. When Matthew was just a baby, it was easy because he was always where I put him last. But when he started to crawl and walk... Sometimes he would fall and Tavish would be out in the fields. He would cry, and the best I could do was pick him up and soothe him. If he was bleeding, I wouldn't know. If he hit his head, I wouldn't know. There is so much of their world I'm missing, and for the children's sake, I pretend it doesn't hurt."

Not for the first time, he ached for the things he would never be able to see. He wanted a family of his own one day, but he didn't know yet if that was a reality for him. Single women were few in Hope Springs, especially those he wasn't related to. And finding a wife who would be alright with his...condition...narrowed his choices even more. Even then, there was only one woman he wanted, and he had little hope she would forgive him for hurting her. He would try his hardest to make up sweet to her, and he wouldn't stop trying even if she rebuffed him. If that didn't work... He would have to make due living as a bachelor his entire life.

The thought didn't sit well with him.

"But Matthew has grown up wonderfully," he said, trying to lighten her mood. "You have done an incredible job, Cecily. The lad adores you."

"Thank you," she said, reaching out to squeeze his hand.

"Finbarr!" Ian's voice called out, and a moment later, a strong hand slapped him on the back. "I think it's your turn to ride in the saddle."

"Ha-ha. Very funny, Ian," Finbarr replied sarcastically with a roll of his eyes. "I think you need to work on your joke telling. You're getting a bit rusty."

Ian had never been one to joke often, which made his palms sweat with worry. The last thing he wanted to do was climb up in the saddle, several feet off the ground with no way to tell which direction the horse was headed. He preferred the safety of his dog, his cane, and his two steady feet planted firmly on the ground.