Roses You Left For Me

30

Except, Jeongguk didn't live up to Taehyung's expectations to show up at the club. Instead, Jeongguk remains at home, laying on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him.

He's hardly moved for the three days he's been at home, barely eating the little food he has left and blankly staring at the TV, but not paying attention to any of it. He could sit through hours of TV and not be able to tell you one word they said. I

t's like his brain is in a constant stage of static and he can't find any signal. He knows his phone has gone off multiple times over the three days, but he's either declined or just ignored the noise until it shuts off. His phone screen lights up once more, the sound playing so loud that Jeongguk is convinced it'll burst his eardrums.

He curls up tighter and covers his ears with both hands, just willing for the noise to stop to leave him in silence once more. What feels like endless hours go by before, finally, the sound stops and his body relaxes. Jeongguk tugs the blanket up to his nose and snuggles into it, remembering how Suho would wrap him up and call him a dumpling whenever he was sick.

"You really do look like a dumpling!" Suho coos.

Jeongguk scowls and hides his shiny face in the fluffy white blanket.

"Aw, come on baby, don't hide from me,"

"You're bullying me and I'm suing," Jeongguk mutters.

"Yeah? You gotta come out of there first, dumpling,"

"Nuh-uh, I'm already calling my lawyer," Jeongguk says.

Suho scoffs and peels the blanket back, revealing a sweaty and ill Jeongguk with a hand to his ear to mimic a phone.

"Hello? Mr. Lawyer? Yes, my boyfriend is downright bullying me and I'd like to sue,"

"You're a cute little dumpling," Suho says as he squishes Jeongguk's cheeks.

Hot tears bubble up at the rim of Jeongguk's eyes, clouding his vision before they all tumble at once, running over the curve of his nose and into the crooks of his lips, the salty taste making the boy grimace. But he doesn't dare cry on the blanket. 

It's all he has left after Suho left. The only thing left behind whilst everything else is gone. Has been gone for a while. So why can't he get over it? Why is Taehyung plaguing his mind and why do his words hurt so much?

"I didn't sign up for feelings," Jeongguk mutters. "Would be so much easier if we all felt nothing,"

His phone rings again, but by now it's been shut off to silent mode. Except, the screen lights up with Seokjin's name. 

He waits for a moment before he leans down to where his phone lays on the ground and puts it on speaker. He doesn't make any noise, he just lays back down and listens.

"Kook?" Seokjin asks. "Jeongguk are you there?"

He hears some background noise, but he doesn't strain to hear it.

"If you are there... Please call Jimin. He said you had a fight and he heard from a friend that works at the club that you ran out crying. He's really worried about you, Kookie. We all are. No one's seen or heard from you and we just want to know if you're okay. Please, Jeongguk, just- talk to me,"

Jeongguk holds back a sob and hides his face in the blanket.

"I'll drop off some groceries for you today. You don't have to talk to me, but please remember to eat. You can't neglect your own health, okay?"

Still, Jeongguk remains silent.

"We love you," Seokjin says quietly before he lingers silently for a moment, finally ending the call a few seconds later. When Jeongguk hears the end tone, he lets out choked sobs, curling in on himself and crying. His heart aches and his skin burns. He would do anything to have Suho back. Or even to have Taehyung stop pushing him away.

Someone to fill the void in him that nothing else can fill. He can try to drown it out with drinks and he can cry until he just can't anymore, but he has to face the reality that he's lost the two people he felt really wanted him. 

He lets out his cries into the air, uncaring of who might be able to hear him. He cries for a long time before he finally simmers out into a zombie-like state as he holds his phone close, listening to his voicemails. He listens to the ones from work first.

"Hello, this is Jung-Won from Bighit? You haven't turned up for work today, and I just wanted to call in and see if everything is okay. Call me back, thanks,"

Message deleted.

"Hi, again Jeongguk. You haven't turned up again today and I haven't heard anything back. If you don't show up tomorrow I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider firing you. Get back to me please,"

Message deleted.

"Jeongguk, this is the third day you haven't turned up. I've heard absolutely nothing back from you. If you don't show up tomorrow, consider yourself fired,"

Message deleted.

With a heavy sigh, Jeongguk listens to the next voicemail.

"Kook? It's Jimin. Look- I'm sorry about what I said. I'm just worried about you, I didn't think it'd get as heated as it did. Call me back, yeah? We can talk,"

Message deleted.

"Hi, it's- it's me again. I didn't hear back and I just wanted to know if you're okay. Please just- text me, yeah?"

Message deleted.

"Kook, I'm getting worried now. Please, please just answer my texts at least. Hoseok hasn't seen you in days and no one's heard from you. I tried visiting but you didn't answer and I don't just want to assume the worst because you've read my texts, but please. Just call me back,"

Message deleted.

"I called Seokjin. Please, Kookie, just- talk to one of us. Any of us. We really want to help you. I can't lose you again, Kook. You're my best friend, I need you. Talk to us,"

Message deleted.

"You have no more messages, for the main menu, press-"

Jeongguk ends the call and carelessly drops the phone on the ground, eyes rolling up to stare blankly at the TV. It's some sort of show about baking, but he really could give less of a shit about it. He hasn't even got the energy to sigh again, so he just sinks into the couch and wraps the blanket tighter around him, ignoring the sounds outside his window and falling asleep again.

He doesn't know what time it is when he wakes up, but it's getting dark outside. There's a light knock at the door, but he doesn't move to answer it.

"I don't think he'll answer," he hears Namjoon say from outside.

"I'm getting worried about him," Seokjin responds. "Jimin's in bits. Keeps blaming himself the poor chick,"

Another knock.

"Kookie? We brought you some groceries," Seokjin says.

Jeongguk stays where he is and waits for a few minutes until there's complete silence before he drags himself up and looks through the spyhole, seeing no one there. 

Still cautious, he stays like that for a few more minutes just to make sure before he edges the door open and snatches the bag up before he locks the door again.

He drops the bag on the counter and readjusts his blanket around his shoulders. Inside is mainly things that can be left out of the fridge, except for some oranges that he likes cold and some meat. 

The rest he leaves on the counter before he slumps back to the couch, his appetite practically non-existent.