Twisting Roses

1: The Other Choice

-Sometimes silence can be the sharpest sword-

The winds were shifting. The air smelled of fresh mint mixed with warm loneliness. Engulfing my soul while standing near a metal railing, I peered out at the beautiful sea roaring with blue gracefulness and breathed in its freedom. I needed that. I needed to get freed from the clutches of the belittling world of Elitists.

My sanity depended on warmth and acceptance. 

Having my silver earrings swing with the wind and dazzle under the bright sun, I winced as one waitress pulled me away from the flowing image of freedom and began escorting me towards a white table placed in the middle of my husband's 'billion-dollar' yacht. It was time to let go of the welcoming warmth of the ocean and return to a cold and rich crowd that completely ignored my existence. 

I was unwanted, ignored and completely invisible to my own in-laws. 

My husband 'Demir'...he never wanted my heart. His coldness had sealed my soul in a suffocating cage that even begging for mercy seemed like an empty plea, but I had to endure it all because of my heart. Despite my marriage beginning solely to fulfil the wish of an old lady who wanted to help carry my financial burdens most feasibly, it had turned into something more for me. I was a melted fool. 

My heart...my soul...they were so easily attached to something that was so intangible, so out of reach. My husband hated me, but I couldn't help but care for him. Our world...it was like a peasant trying to be accepted by a prince; so dream-like...so foolish and so crushing. 

People don't go for copper when they have always kept themselves surrounded by gold. 

Quietly taking my place next to my mother-in-law 'Samiya Begum', I kept my head down as she busily continued conversing with my sister-in-law 'Sonia' who was around my age and studying to become a doctor. Despite being a part of this family, I was never welcomed or bothered about. 

Immediately after marriage, I was given a tiny room in the main servants' building, far behind the main mansion. No one really visited my place because all the helpers of the Khan family had been given separate quarters, and the servants' building was just left standing in memory of Demir's ancestors who constructed it. Often, I felt like the Khans completely wanted to hide my existence...rebuke all notions of being associated with me, but being people of high class, they had to meet the society's expectations; parties attended without the wife of their main heir would bring them disgrace. 

Constricted by responsibilities and status, the Khans had no choice but to tolerate my presence, yet that didn't stop them from taking out their frustration on me. Snidely, I would often be asked to weed their huge gardens and clean the horse stables, my presence wasn't allowed inside the main mansion, and my husband...he hardly stayed in the country to even eye my silent tears. 

I was hurting. I had been hurting for a very long time, but this heartbreaking ignorance, loneliness, and misery...it was shattering and soul-crushing. Often, I would spend the nights crying in my shabby room, allowing the blankets to drink up my tears, and listen to the shattering sound of my heartbreak. 

There weren't many warm wisps that soothed away my flowing tears. 

Knowing that I owed Madam Geena, my sweetest mentor, a lot to even complain about fulfilling the promise she had made me keep, I had decided to keep my shattering heartache to myself and just face the suffocating crowd with a pretentious smile. There weren't many hearts that cared for me, so I couldn't afford to disappoint them. 

Also, my family lived overseas. I had shifted to Hill City to earn a life of luxury for them because they deserved me to make an effort...they deserved my love, hard work and care, so the person who had helped me financially support my family, get hired at a place that won't even give amateurs get a chance, I couldn't let her down. Even if her promise kept on crushing my self-esteem and heart, I could never hurt her.