Twisting Roses

27: Time to Return Back

-Mayday, Mayday...my blush is getting deeper-

-I am not falling, I am just going steeper-

Welcomed by the scent of rosy petals and the charm of dimming sun rays, I galloped my white horse down the main fields of the village and laughed as a few village women gave me weird looks. Months had passed since my emotional breakdown, and now I could feel like I was the most stable I had ever been. Instead of pain being my weakness, it had morphed into becoming my strength; my past was my standing stone now.

I never thought that I would reach these high emotions, be able to confront my demons, and this was mostly because of spending time with a gem of a woman, Tania, the village's infamous widowed teacher. When Aunt Shazia had taken me to her, I thought that this would be just another road leading towards an epic dead end. I was feeling destroyed, weak, humiliated, broken by the sheer feeling of still obsessing over someone who would never shed a tear for me, but then it all changed. 

I remember the day I first stepped inside Ms Tania's small house. It had cows roaming beside it and a weird scent of overcooked wheat lingering in the air. I wasn't entirely impressed. The first time, I met Ms Tania, I thought of her as a quiet and strict woman who was probably adored by the villagers because she had managed to get her high school degree from an Urban school, but that wasn't really the case. 

Ms Tania was a wise soul and a content person. 

My sessions with her included joining her for tea, helping her with taking care of the livestock and making fresh candles. Ms Tania claimed that both candle-making and taking care of the livestock would be good for my mental health. While the scent of candle wax would ease my mind, taking care of vulnerable and dependent animals would give me a feeling of strength and control. She was right; the peace I felt when taking care of animals was astounding. 

Also, while keeping me invested in these creative activities, Ms Tania made me pour my heart out. The heart-to-heart conversations we would have...

Ms Tania had lost her husband when she was 20 years old. That man was almost 20 years older than her but always treated her like a queen. Losing him forced her to realize how to live independently. She had always hidden behind her husband, used him as her shield, but after losing him, she realized how weak she was...how she didn't know the basic needs of survival. The villagers had pitied her and sobbed for her loss and lost identity, but she learned how to come out of it all as a strong person. She studied, worked hard to earn money and desperately searched for peace. 

Upon finding the white path, she worked to walk down it and embrace peace. Material interests and worldly gains were no longer her priorities. She had dedicated her life to fully embracing peace. I wanted that...I wanted to feel that level of contentment, and though, I still hadn't managed to become as wise as her, I would feel so light and at peace when she would tell me inspiring and beautiful passages from motivating books. 

Books really do change a person's life. 

Anyhow, now galloping down the airy roads of my village, I rode my horse straight towards my aunt's home. It astounded me how she was never really irritated by my long stay, but I guess that is family for you; they are there for you when you need them the most. 

Smiling as my twin cousins now excited ran towards me, I got off my horse and quickly embraced them in a warm hug. 

"Sweeties, you missed again?" I joked, tightening my embrace around them. Both of them cutely giggled. They were always like this when I came home, and they just loved my white horse which I had raised all on my own. It had been such a beautiful feeling. 

"Uh-huh." They nodded against my shoulder. 

"Maya bibi," Soha now stepped away from me, hardly being able to contain her excitement, as she leaned back on her heels. "Your mom and dad are here," she announced, making me immediately straighten up.