Twisting Roses

13: Living a Fantasy

-In the midst of loneliness, there were some stars twinkling so brightly-

There was an awkward silence suffocating the air around us. Demir and I...on civil terms...it felt surreal. I was so used to being hated and ignored by my husband that watching him try to mend our bond seemed...uncomfortable. Even after he had announced to let go of this bitter circle and start new, there were just too many remnants left to keep on soiling our choices; the first one being that the hospital, I was staying at, belonged to my dearest husband, so him not visiting was purely his choice. There had been no fights to meet me...fights to stay. Demir had purposely dumped me in one of the cheapest rooms of his hospital for days. 

It deeply pained me.

Now as the roaring aura of midnight blazed down at our car and Demir sat gazing outside the window, I couldn't help but wonder if a change was 'soon' to be seen. This attempt at a new beginning...was it really possible? My heart was pounding fast as my gaze continuously eyed my husband with curiosity. He said that he couldn't tolerate seeing me hurting anymore, hinting that my scars no longer seemed beautiful to him, but was it all guilt and gratitude coating his feelings? Would Demir turn back to his callous ways once the feeling of gratitude washed away?

I wasn't sure. 

I had dreamed of a fairytale, hoped for a moment when my husband would finally care, and if this was the moment when my fairytale would finally turn real, I wasn't going to fight it. 

The midnight air looked cool outside our tinted windows, the city arena so fast and active. Turns out, Demir had flown me out of his cousin's island and brought me back to his native city. Samiya Begum, Sonia, and the rest...they were still on the island. Demir had told me how they persisted in coming back...were asking about my health (probably showing fake concern) but he wasn't really in the mood to deal with some dramatic female emotions. 

He had even decided to send his family to Hawaii for a week-long vacation because he was tired of their party-throwing lifestyle, so he needed a breather away from his glamorous routine. I was quite surprised by this discovery. Demir seemed like a sheer example of a rich man fully consumed by his rich lifestyle, but I guess that wasn't the case. 

Awkwardly sitting inside his black Lamborgini, with the chauffeur/driver seldom offering to serve us food, I watched as Demir kept on cupping the back of his neck and sighing with exhaustion. There seemed to be just too many emotions...too many feelings suffocating him. I  wasn't sure if this new start was a breather or a burden for him. It could be both. I could just be a pity case whom my husband suddenly felt sorry for, but with my heart always beating so fast for him, I wasn't going to give up this case of winning his heart; it had been offered, now. 

Quiet and timid, I watched as our car drove down the nearly vacant streets of our city and drove past areas that made me bitterly smile at the irony. We were taking routes, which showed us both urban and rural areas of Hill City, so I was quite bemused by this relatable contrast. This deep contrast...these opposite sides...it was Demir and me. We were sailing on the same boat while belonging to completely different backgrounds. We were reflections of two opposite worlds. It was so ironic. 

Suffocating as the silent air around us thickened, I subtly watched from my peripherical vision as Demir now shifted towards me, his 'Molex' shining under the street light. 

"Would you mind if we take a quick detour? I want to treat us to a classic dinner," he mused, making me give him a reluctant look. 

"Umm...sure." I shrugged, fidgeting with my fingers while not completely meeting his gaze. This felt awkward and new...and I didn't know how to boost my confidence enough to deal with this surreal sensation. Being Demir courteous to me was all I ever wanted. I had longed to see him smile, laugh, and deeply care for me, and these seemed small baby steps in that direction.