Twisting Roses

24: Madly, Insanely and Miserably

-There were two miserable hearts holding on to painful promises-

"Demir, if you can't find her, then that means she doesn't want to be found. Please don't bother her anymore. If you truly do care, do it for her." 

"Okay," Demir quietly nodded, ending the call. He had been desperately calling Maya's mom for weeks...pathetically pleading her to tell him about Maya's whereabouts, but she just wouldn't budge. 

He felt miserable. 

Living without Maya...imagining her round eyes as they gleamed with so many emotions...it was destroying him. For him, the world without her was making absolutely no sense. He could no longer find the will to move...to do anything. Deep depression and agony had hit him hard. It wasn't this horrible even when he had lost Meeran. Back then, he had found enough will to run away to different countries...to lose himself between tiring work hours, but now he couldn't even move. 

Resigned completely to his room, he would spend his days balled up in dark corners, palming his eyes to wipe the lonesome tears and regretting each and every mistake he had made. He missed her...he missed her so much that it was completely ruining him. He had said he wouldn't be able to survive without her. 

This was him living up to his words. 

Moments now made him feel like he was standing all alone...under the scorching sun...flaming under its blazing heat while desperately searching for some relief...a breather away from his pain, but this agony...this torture...it was his punishment. He had been so incredibly cruel and merciless. 

Feeling his left hand constantly weigh down with the burden of his actions, he had to stop himself from making empty calls over and over again. Maya's family just wasn't interested in helping him, and his deadly gang workers couldn't completely be allowed to chase after his wife; it didn't sit well with his heart to allow them to do so. 

Tormented and completely shattered, he no longer knew how he was going to return back to his facade of a stone-hearted billionaire. His entire empire...his gang position...everything depended on him being extremely aggressive and merciless-just as he had always been, but now that side seemed to be completely overpowered by intense regret and vulnerability.

He knew that him wasting away would definitely put a dent on his father's huge business legacy, but he just didn't care. Money...business...power...they seemed so meaningless in front of her. 

Curled up in the dark corners of his room, he would spend his hours just remembering her sweet smile and regretting moments when he hurt her...ignored her. His past actions were no longer making any sense to him. He had been cruel, merciless, but all the wounds he had inflicted on her made him feel like a beast. 

What on earth had he been thinking?!

Manipulative? Gold-digger? His heart was still in denial that he had managed to stoop so low, but time had fully made his mind aware of the blunders he had committed. Raising his hand at her...sprouting utter garbage about her...he had been such a lousy husband, and it took her leaving his house for him to understand this. 

He hated to admit, but due to his own issues, he had lost the one thing that truly mattered to him. Maya had tried...she really did try to be a considerate wife, but he had messed up. And now his dear wife was deeply hurt, terribly mad at him, and he just didn't know what to do about it. 

He was completely lost. 

Grieving, he now winced as his room's door got slammed open and in came the sound of heels clicking against the marble floor.  Demir didn't have the energy to look up; his heart was broken into bits, so he was in no mood of showing any sort of courtesy.